(for previous parts see links at the end)
STEPS of FAITH...
a LETTER from CHRIST ... a REFLECTION
"...Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ Himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives—and we publish it."
(verse 3 from "The Message")
As I go backward and walk through these STEPS of FAITH, I realize that some of my deepest pains and greatest hurts, God has usually turned them around and made them my deepest & greatest passions, or I'm able to use that pain for His gain by sharing that portion of my life to someone else in a difficult or similar place. I truly believe that is part of why God allows this and we are meant to share with one another and encourage one another.
As I go back and reread each part that I have shared, I recall parts that I did not share, wondering whether I should mention this or that. Then I wait for God's spirit to move me or speak. By MOVING FORWARD in my life to the wonderful MIRACLE of adopting two blessings on my life, I had overlooked the 7 years since my graduation, followed by my mental health setback then marriage.
I was afforded a wonderful opportunity right out of college, with my college's summer enrichment program and also was given an outstanding privilege to be given a teaching contract at the school where I had student taught. That school, those students and staff, still hold a place in my heart and a fond memory as one of the BEST, favorite year of teaching. It was truly a dream assignment of teaching Kindergarten through 4th grade bilingually in English & Spanish!!! I treasure that time. I also worked with their cheerleaders as I had other teams since high school as their advisor/trainer/teacher. This truly kept the JOY of the Lord before me & each cheerleader remains engraved in my heart through the many years. I was hired & paid through the public schools but working in a private school, so it was a double blessing. The sad part was having to leave and be laid off after only 3 years, last ones hired, first ones laid off... very untimely.
And that was not in the current economic turmoil but in the late 70s.
We had just found our ideal home instead of renting, against my husband's wishes (at that time), we purchased our 7 and a half acres of paradise and our home since then, among the pines & beauty of God's refuge for me. Then and now. A dream place come true, though the house was bigger than what we need.
The beginning of the 80s, brought the completion of another dream for me before the adoption of our two 3 year olds. I bought my first horse, a purebred Arabian colt, a dream of mine since childhood to own a horse. But this was a newborn and one that I would have the delight of training or being trained. Trust me there are many lessons learned as you 'break a horse', with no background in the how-to's and take care of them. At this same time, we boarded a horse, since I could not ride mine. The owners were glad to have me take their horse out and keep him exercised during the week. I often walked my little horse along side.
We also opened our home to teenagers that year, 13 foster kids in total, but not all at once, living in our home. I think the most was 6. We started out with teenage moms, trying to keep their babies (the reason I wanted to do this). It was during this time, I realized that teaching other's kids was not enough for me, as I had told my husband it would be. I was now longing to BE a REAL mother. I wanted to have my own children and started looking into the available possibilities. My husband unaware. He already had fathered a beautiful daughter (a year older than me) with his first wonderful wife & mother of her, so it just was not something he had in our plans and we had discussed this before we married if I'd be alright with not having children. And I had told him, being a teacher was the ideal way of surrounding your life with kids, a good variety and not having to take them home (though there were many, that I would have loved to have had as my own). Yet it was at this time, I wanted the fulfillment of "having your own kids"my own.
[I'm leaving out two profound stories from this time in my life, even though they probably had much to do with my future MIRACLE and my spiritual life lessons: one with having children and the other with a horse (my so called near fate with death) which was from being thrown and fracturing my skull instead of breaking just a shoulder or hip like most. Yes, both of these impacted my life (and others significantly) many decisions and choices were perhaps altered because of these episodes, but as previously noted, I won't share other's lives or what may be forever written indelibly online as soon as you publish it publicly.]
My main reason is because I do not want you to focus on my story or the details but on HIS redemptive story in me. It is through God, His WORD and my faith walk with Him, that I have been transformed and my mind renewed through His powerful truths.
However, there is one point I will share from one of these two; a rather important part from the horse fall. While in the hospital, because of my own thinking of a near death experience, being unable to move from the waist down, thinking this was it, paralyzed or dead: a deep sense of the importance in prayer was stirred in me. It was at the time I was new to my second church, and people I hardly knew from that church, came to visit & pray for me, & with me, telling me others in the church were praying too. This moved me deeply and touched me eternally.
Then my own sister (who lived in California) came & visited... this is why I was sure this must be it for me. So I too prayed fervently.
I wanted my life to make a difference. I wanted my faith to increase and my power in praying just like theirs. I also prayed fervently as regards the other untold part as well because God's mercy and forgiveness is overwhelming!
When you spend time before Him, seeking His heart, He really sees your heart and He truly knows your heart. He takes us beyond the pit and resurrects His Spirit in us. God truly knows the desires of our hearts and also when we are truly contrite before Him. He used this experience to draw me into a deeper prayer life.
God answered these prayers and drew me to HIM at that time, and into that deep desire to grow closer in PRAYER with scripture. So my intimacy with God reached a beautiful new level. I had ascended to a new level up the mountaintop with Him from the many valleys.
...end of Part IV...
My STEPS of FAITH are
being made
firm
on the ROCK since
being laid
in the sand
Thank you for reading through this, I do hope you'll continue with me.
[I only wrote up to Part VII. (7 parts) throughout August and an ending]
[sequence is reverse order]
- THIS IS MY STORY... Part IV
- THIS IS MY STORY... Part III
- THIS IS MY STORY... PART II
- *True Woman | Read The Manifesto
- *MIRACLES... this TOO is my story
- *MESSES... this too is my story...
- *MAZES... this too is my story...
- THIS IS MY STORY... Part I.
- *WHERE DO I BEGIN...
- * extras but they have some pertinent tidbits that add to "THIS IS MY STORY" as well as the songs and other posts in between really are parts of what God is weaving together as fabrics woven on the tapestry of my life.
