"I" ...

{there's more of an explanation and links on "B" blog post}
MILE 4
"ABANDONMENT"

Matthew 27:46 Luke 22:39-44 Hebrews 12:1-3

I thought long and hard about "ABANDONMENT" for Jesus and for me (what it means or how it feels?) Because a long-time ago in my own life, it was stated that I had fear of "abandonment" (which to me, didn't make sense, back then) yet the first words that came to mind for me were words that start with "I" ...

INSECURITY

ISOLATION

Sad to say, I now know how both of these words occur in my life and I have to battle against feeling insecure and isolated but not like Jesus, from His Father ... I can't even imagine that empty feeling of separation. Back then, I could not think at all how I might have issues with abandonment ... I have a better picture of that now. Back then, I clearly knew that I had not experienced childhood losses or trauma that I associate with "abandonment". Thankfully, I have a strong belief that my Heavenly Father has not and will not abandon me, and this is what I cling to as I face any earthly moments that bring up fears related to this. Fortunately, I had not experienced divorce or a death of a parent as a child, as I have since then however. I still had fears, issues and perhaps even identity crisis based on my insecurities and in these aging years with hearing loss now, a real sense of isolation like never before. As you can tell, this MILE strikes too close to home ... the blessing for me, is I have never felt abandoned by God, even when I might have deserved it. He has been ever so faithful to me every MILE of my journey.

"Lord, I confess there are times in my life when I feel like everyone, even You, has abandoned me. Give me the faith to see that You have never left me. Help me to see that You were abandoned so I would never have to be. Let me focus on Your presence today. In Jesus' name, Amen."