If you know me, or have seen a glimpse of me online through this blog or you version or somewhere, you probably know that I have a real hard time with "grief" from my early years as a child until recently with 2 loved ones - a precious older sister (a week ago) and my spouse (last fall). I have gone through many losses and not just through death, although I have had so many of those from grandparents; to aunts and uncles (all of them now); cousins to my entire biological family; parents & 3 siblings; and in the last few years, many of my classmates (my age). I also have had the loss of all my earthly treasures stored in our home when a fire was a total loss. There have been health losses and aging losses (lol) mine and all those loved ones. People close to me who have suffered the loss of their mind/memory. I have also faced the traumatic loss of suicide of a dear one that I discovered. This quote by Vicki Harrison I have found to be one of my favorites and the truth for me. I saved this back in 2009-2010... when I lived on the Pacific Ocean, and God brought me peaceful healing through the rhythm of the waves.
Yes, part of this earthly life is the losses, they're personal, and death is the ultimate, yet some of the others hit very close. Lament is necessary. I'm still not sure that I have ever learned to grieve even after reading many scriptures and wonderful books that helped me. Also I have gone through GriefShare - an excellent healing, support and recovery ministry. Session 4 of the "Relaxed" study will be the 4th week from April 20th, and I covet your prayers or thoughts - it lands the week of Mother's Day, which was the first time, a year after my mom passed away, that I recall falling apart. For most of my life, my oldest sister was like a "mom" to my youngest brother & I, because our mother suffered greatly through her chronic illnesses, so our care fell on her until she needed to move on and care for our aunt, dying of cancer, and then her 4 children also. I'm so thankful that I was able to let my sister know this in this last decade on Mother's Day thanking her, and that I was able to go to the hospital on April 8th before she passed into Jesus' arms on the 10th. She knew that she had been this "mom" to our youngest brother and our cousins, but she did not realize that she had that place in my heart and life. She just celebrated her 79th birthday the week before her homegoing celebration, yet her earthly celebration of her life here will not be until summertime.
I learned that the 5 stages of grief had become 7: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance (no particular order of sequence, or that you face all of them); but I like the ones Megan shares in this video from Pastor Rick Warren. Last fall after being a caregiver, I discovered another one: RELIEF. She also mentions this word in the video. I'm not sure this is a stage or part of shock, I also experienced a phase of just feeling numb. However, the following from Maya Angelou echoes and at times I've found myself in: DISBELIEF as well, but I also agree with the answer to the biblical question: "Death, where is thy sting?" (1 Cor.15: 55-57) I hope you can read "When I Think of Death" by Maya Angelou (in this image).
I hope that after finishing "RELAXED", I will have quotes from Pastor Megan to share or create in images also. On my RETREAT, I've been given a peaceful place to breathe & hope the weather is good. I still am thankful for the C.A.L.M. of Max Lucado's book (& now others).
[image credit] possibly the one on it
Please save this video and take/make the time to view this video on Grief!
Thank you!
{some day perhaps I hope to share more on my sister, Carol}
God willing
💙
