"... Hope Beyond the Hurt" - HOLY GRIEF

TODAY
I just would like to share some of my personal
RIVER JOURNEY
{this past week has been some real soul searching and soul care}
I hope you are able to read the intricacies
along my "river journey" and the precious stones
I pursued not just my regular YV
reading plans and ebooks, etc
but much of this above
is soaking parts
from what
I gathered from today's tears
and the day 5 of my "REsilience REset"
- my first draft -
(maybe the second, because I needed to lighten the stones)
Meaningful memories of His Mercy & aMazing Grace!
Miracles in the making each morning ... as I rise
Just Give Me Jesus
<>

Nothing else
in fact 
I was planning to just share the created image
it's
HOLY GRIEF
not
only
RELIEF
<><><>

[if you can't read it all, I hope you're able to enlarge, so you don't miss any]
God's Blessings,
💙
Thanks for rolling and strolling along my "river" with me!
(songs came to mind, but at least it wasn't "cry me a river")

HE's CLOSER THAN my NEXT BREATH

[my created image]

I have been on quite the journey these last few days, maybe weeks, or even years. Yet this last week, I am sensing God "closer than my next breath" ... noticing that each and every day, He is revealing His heart and closeness to me personally like I have never experienced in this way. It seems to be like a journey into God's Presence, where He is speaking into from so many places and inviting me to go deeper experiencing more of His Presence, as He consistently shows me that throughout my life, He was and is here - there - everywhere with me, each breath, each step, drawing me to seek and pursue more of Him and more of His heart through His Word, as He brings healing. He is gently awakening an awareness of more thirst and hunger within me, that He placed within me so very many years ago. He is putting the pieces together as He continues to write a complete story of my life, intertwining the tapestry, crossing one part with another, that is taking my very breath away. And it's so intimate and personal that I cannot even begin to express, or put it altogether in an understandable way the intricacies as I reflect and He reveals. As He does this, I come upon so many resources and readings that seem to be written just for me to see and understand. Even my last blog post, the books presented, the change of pace and studies are all preparing and tending to my soul care in such a unique way. It's not a struggle, it's not a battle (yet) but it's so very clear that God is omnipresent as Scripture points out that He's HERE, THERE and EVERYWHERE, all at the same time. This is a series also that the local church has done before, maybe every year but is doing it again because it's the mission that they believe and live out, inviting others to join in and take the next step for their life.

[my created image 6/25]

Once again, I have put aside "The LIE ..." study and now I am setting aside the "Strong in Battle" book for something more peaceful and calm for the summer; but I'm continuing to daily take up, or put on the full armor of God as I declare 5 personal affirmations; and I don't know why, or how I proceed yet it's with the same author as that one for now ... 

He has moved me to "Ponder His Presence" more. 

<><><>

Today (which was a few days ago, when this publishes) I woke up, thanked God for the day and my breath as I read the 2nd day of a Bible plan, focusing on RUACH ... until noon. 

I began with this (like this): 

{how I wish this was me, but it is my creation & represents me}

The words are from my reading plan:

the title (on top) and a quote

then the prayer

with the scripture notation of Psalm 46:10

[the tiniest print by the notebook]

<>

another creation of the same devotion

personalized

from the storm last night

to the application from the devotion

to the same quote with another element added:

"Your breathing right now is proof

that God hasn't abandoned you."

[my created image 6/24]

Drinking in once again:

Breathe

Trust

He's near

And there was so much in-between ... Notes on RUACH & more:

"RUACH already moving"

The pine bending.  The lake resting.  The wind moving.  The Ruach present

RUACH (רוּחַ) is a Hebrew word that translates to "spirit," "wind," or "breath". Used nearly 400 times in the Hebrew Bible, it reflects a deeply physical, ancient understanding of the life-force: the unseen but undeniable energy that gives all living things vitality. The concept of ruach is best understood in three interconnected ways: Breath: The physical act of inhaling and exhaling that sustains life. In Genesis 2:7,   God breathes ruach into Adam to make him a living being. Wind: The invisible, untamable force of the atmosphere. Just as you cannot see the wind but can feel it and see the leaves move, ruach represents God's invisible but active presence. Spirit: The immaterial essence of a human, or God's divine life-force (Ruach Elohim).

The truths that resonated with something I already knew deep down:

• You do not have to earn your worth.
• God's silence is not abandonment.
• Strength is not rigidity.
• The wind can pass through without uprooting you.
• Your next breath is evidence of continuing grace.

I heard these truths in a new FRESH way!

"Peace is not the absence of wind. It is the presence of something deeper than the wind."

I felt comforted, encouraged, seen and drawn CLOSER to God.
RUACH 
already moving
<>
Then I encountered when I didn't expect it, or go looking for anything more ... many other pertinent resources and research in the afternoon hours and finally the book that I mentioned again, purchased in 2023 for a birthday gift and I am now opening this new treasure, since I had only scratched the surface of the Introduction and maybe the first two chapters and now opening it with FRESH eyes, with a new thirst and hunger for His Presence - with new hopes of reading all 10 chapters before something new touches my spirit by His Spirit. So, now I draw into a sweeter realization of a new REFRESHING of RUACH through a new journey (and book) beyond the pages and into a very personal connection. 

I've been reading Lysa TerKeurst's "Come Close to Jesus" and I feel "He's Closer than my next Breath" - His Spirit alive in me!

On the day, I am writing this, I was on "Blindsided" was the devotion and I guess I was - in a sweet yet powerful way of His Presence delighting me from moment after moment of His healing touch ... "Against the Wind" came to me, out of nowhere, not my genre. So I will be pausing for now in a good place, right before Lysa's Declaration and then her Letter before the next devotion of "Be with Him". I'll still be doing the Declaration, which is "The God who Makes the Sun Rise" with Lamentations 3:22-23 and close off the week with Lysa's letter, as this blog post publishes. And I begin with Him, CLOSER than Your Next Breath (and mine) until July ... one post publishes July 2nd and then after the 4th of July, beginning with a quick sample of Max Lucado's "Seeking after the Heart of God" (the full book is 52 weeks) but the YV plan is just 5 days. 

May His Spirit

BE WITH YOU

🙏

I am NOT

unlovable, or worthless

nor helpless.

I am God's Child

CHOSEN

REDEEMED

Accepted

Secure

Significant

FREE & LOVED

filled by His Holy Spirit

[just keep scrolling to the "bell" shape verses

and "Who I am in Christ"]

Declare daily and break the hold of any lie!

<>

*NOTE: the the created images are mine, inspired by Jolene Reason from our online group; because this is my new artistic learning that I am thoroughly enjoying doing creations from my readings ... On this day, I discovered a video RUACH Journey, but not sure about that pursuit. There was also a long one in You Version "Uncharted" (70 days) and one for (30 days). I recently took a Character Quiz with "Chosen" - the results matched me up with JOHN, the apostle. [CHOSEN CHARACTER JOURNEY] developed by Jesus (dot) net. They have been sending emails about my character John since I did the Character Test. 

SOUL CARE to be "STRONG in BATTLE"

[Credit: Jolene Reason]

Over this past weekend, Jolene Reason made some really beautiful graphics on our OBS for Jennie Allen's book "The LIE You Don't Know You Believe" (the *one for Sunday, June 14th caught my attention, at first on God's Everlasting Love - but truthfully all of them that she does, are beautifully captivating) under "SEEK My Face & My Will" (almost to the end) she lists Jeremiah 31:3; Isaiah 61:10; 1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) and I decided that I really needed this reminder so beautifully created for my soul and my heart and just me. Thanks Jolene! I enlarged the following image created by Jolene, so you are better able to read & receive it.

But the first image at the top, Jolene created just for me - from *Susie Larson's book that I had made an image from a screenshot then gave those verses in a comment, which is all she used to create that opening image * "Strong in Battle"...she did not have the book or all as follows.

Here is the actual passage from Susie Larson:

"We must BELIEVE we can be renewed day by day, (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)" "Trust that you can live with a joy that strengthens us (Romans 15:13)" "Shine brightly in a dark world" that's lost its way (Philippians 2:15)" "and live with a holy expectancy that heaven is real and goodness is coming."  (Revelation 21:4)

[the above is missing 3 others that Susie includes on p.28 of her book]
Preceding this Susie writes:

..."Especially in this day of battle, we must throw off every shred of apathy and passivity and engage with intentionality:" Interrupt every rogue, inferior thought, and make it bow & submit to Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:5). Receive God's Kingdom power by faith          (1 Corinthians 4:20). ....  Believe ... [with the part above] Yield to the moment-by-moment influence of the Holy Spirit.(Galatians 5:16) [and finish with the rest above]

"Though the battle is real, God is greater still --greater than your fears, greater than your enemies,and even greater than the times we're in."~Susie Larson~
I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS & SAVE THIS!
{being in this OBS on "LIES..." one needs to be prepared for battle, right?}
So I just had to return to my book(s) by Susie Larson:

I did not realize when I ordered Susie Larson's "Soul Care for the Battle"(image at the bottom) that it was a companion "guided journal" to go along with "Strong in the Battle" [Why the Humble Will Prevail]. In the Introduction to "Soul Care ..." she clearly states that originally she wrote the journal in conjunction to "Strong in Battle" but "don't feel obligated to purchase that one." Well, of course I did, especially before I face "LIES" and other battles surrounding my life, so I put the 1st away until I could get the 2nd; it arrived right before "LIES" started; however, I still should have begun and done these before heading into "LIES" ... {and we're only beginning Session 3 of that} so I stopped myself from going forward, without going back to "Strong in Battle" - I'm not too sure that I can deal with the "Humble" part of the title and also an essential part of every chapter after the "Prayerful Reflective Questions" and her deep dive training writing that precedes, Susie ends with these excellent, practical application tools to help me (the reader) apply the truths that we've just read to the "battle" we're currently facing - and that begins with: The Humble Way (in this section, we "explore the power of humility in every single battle we face" {so maybe I will gain some humility}; following this are 3 more parts: Discern the Fiery Arrows; Say "No"; Say "Yes" for each of the 10 Chapters. As we explore the fear of God and the profound power of a humble heart, we'll learn to be quicker to identify the enemy's predictable LIES, so that we can overcome them with the truth. Perhaps you can see why I prefer to go back to Susie's books. For me, that seems to be the better approach. However, Susie's style of writing requires me to read, and read again; and sometimes refer back to reading it again. Thus, this could take me quite some time. Yet, as I determine to change course and study, I am seeking to "Take back My Life" (another book, by Levi Lusko; which I did a sample YV plan, have the book & read it a few years back).

So this is a REset for me, and probably another way for me to REfresh for 2026, as I continue which RE- word is God actually speaking to me for this year, which is now almost half over. I'll just keep pressing forward with all He gives me and SEEK His Heart, SEEK His Face and that will help me SEEK His Will and Way for whatever the day ahead of me holds & that's about all I can do & handle. I definitely will be SEEKING after the Heart of God this year and quite possibly for 2027 (God willing)! Starting after the 4th of July, I plan on doing a YV overview 5 day sample plan of just this by Max Lucado, but I already have his 2 ebooks on this & Experiencing the Heart of Jesus (YV has a plan for that one also).

Enjoy the rest of JUNE!

[image credit: Amazon & Susie Larson]

Now that's Good News!

So I just had to share, although I have a "peaceful little lake" with an island

not the peaceful streams that flow.

Yet

God

RE-stores My Soul 

and that's

SOUL CARE

for the Battle

(sigh)

Added Personal Note: I wish that I could change the "Sunday image" and date to June 16th because it's another Birthday date of significant people celebrating in heaven with my mom, another older sister, Irene (we called "Renie), and the twin sisters born on this day, June 16th, Doris & Dora, in 1927; the youngest of the Blanchette family of Henry and Edith (Dyson) Blanchette; so their entire family is gone. My Aunt Doris was my favorite aunt, and her twin sister Dora, passed away in 1965, way too early from cancer. Doris lived until 2013 and Renie (1917-2014), a long life and such a delight each time I was able to stop & visit her, in Tucson, AZ on my way home from Mexico. Doris lived in southern California, so I was not able to visit with her as often but Renie's son, brought both Renie and Doris to visit me in northern Mexico. The last time I saw them both. They both outlived my mom and Dora, and their other siblings; as I now am outliving my siblings and parents. I'm so thankful for the cousins that are still living and their children (and even great grand children). Since my adult children are adopted and know their biological mom (and dad?) it's good for me to have family, including 3 nieces and 1 nephew (and 2 of them have grown children, well teens). They don't live close but at least they're here.

A Very Happy Birthday Doris and Dora!!! (100 years old next year).

🎂

Another RE - word

[image credit: Brainy Quote]

Already a month ago, I wrote "RE - something" as re:gards to my 2026 One Word - still  undetermined; and also about a REALLY Excellent Bible Study by Megan Fate Marshman called "RElaxed" - Walking with the One Who is Not Worried about a Thing ... diving deeply into Proverbs 3:5-6 meaning that we can RE-LAX because God is in control, so through this online study, we slowly walked toward (and with) the RELAXED life of Jesus as we learned to "submit our ways" to Him. {6 of those "ways" chosen & written about by Megan were given in that post} 

In the Bible, RE-laxing is tied closely to the concept of "Rest" and "Stillness". We also learned that rather than doing nothing, spiritually it means to let go of anxiety and cease striving for control by placing our TRUST (my 2025 One Word) in God's Provision. Yes, the italicized words are problem areas in my own personal life, so that makes it clear why I find it difficult to find "rest" and "stillness" easily ... in fact, it's a real struggle. Clearly, this is why I needed time away to truly focus on this RELAXED study, but its last session was this past week & Faith Gateway is moving on to another wonderful new study by Jennie Allen, starting on June 1st, "The LIE You Don't Know You Believe" (to register). Truthfully, I did not intend to do this one, however God gently prompted me to give it a try that it may be the beginning of a lifetime healing. You'll see it's worth it! So I will, how about you? (just click on the title) YV sample too

While doing "RELAXED", I also was doing the Max Lucado study again "What Happens Next", which has one more week left; plus I was reading a daily devotional by Beth McGuffin, M.Ed.; "Begin With God: Find Rest" ... as you can see Rest definitely is needed by me yet I still seek it.

Jennie Allen has a Podcast! {yeah, even though I know she does so much and is so involved, I just found this out} ... It's available on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher & Amazon besides the one I linked on her website linked to Podcast. I made a playlist on my Spotify but I don't think it's public. But here is Jennie Allen's link on Spotify as "The Jennie Allen Podcast" but then you'll have to sort through and find the Book Club but many in between and prior also relate to "The LIE.. " I only have the Kindle Study Guide this time, not the Book or any extras.

Right as I began reading ahead to check out  Session 1 of "The LIE ..." I came across the following One Word that struck me with familiarity:

RELIEF
This is the One Word, I heard from God on September 7th, 2025 in the local Church I attended that day. It was a significant word for me that resurfaces often since that time and seems to strike an inner part of me. Instead of GRIEF that most people feel after the loss of someone close that they shared a great deal of their lives with, and what they experience in different stages in the time after that loss; I simply could not feel the normal grief because I felt this sense of such RELIEF. And God let me know that day, that it's ok and again recently in a medical appointment, that was reaffirmed that it's ok and normal. Yet I did not "identify" all these months that it was ok. I was feeling guilty. Yet in the word RELIEF, what do you see?

One of the biblical definitions of RELIEF is the alleviation of suffering, distress, or oppression. Primarily, it is portrayed as God's merciful invention. God delivers His people through offering both physical rescue and deep spiritual rest. We, as believers, are called to act with compassion on the vulnerable (a little more on this will follow later*).Check out RELIEF origin.

The first session of The LIE is not at all on GRIEF, it's IDENTIFY. Yet in the 2nd paragraph, I read: (but in a different context entirely) ...

"... what I felt most was RELIEF"

In Jennie Allen's study guide, clearly it's in regard to discovering the LIE that she found out she had been believing about herself and the frustration about learning she had been believing that LIE. Here's what follows that discovery and the above statement:

"RELIEF that my suffering had a origin. RELIEF that I could know what that origin was. RELIEF, that by the power of God, I could go back to that origin and find my way forward in health." ...

And I knew that immediately this was what God wants for me ... going back to the origin, healing going forward, and RELIEF. This is yet another RELEASE and way that I can be RE-freshed and proceed forward in my life. Of course, Jennie Allen's book & study will help me with "the LIE" however I have years and years of LIES, yet she writes that there is a Core Lie that all those LIES boil down to 3 simple categories & she offers a quiz to help you identify yours at jennieallen.com/lies-quiz. 

My Core Lie: "I am worthless." Truthfully, I think all 3 Core lies have been part of the many decades of my life at different times. Yet, I do understand where this LIE came from and how it was continued after my childhood & teen years into my young adult years, one example is in my childhood foundational Church at their Communion time, they say (on repeat) "Lord I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the Word and my soul will be healed." As a young adult, I was told that I could not receive Communion because I married a divorced person. Not my sin except that I married him. To me, that is a Church made rule that I do not find in the Bible. If it is, so be it, but it began my journey to seek another Church in another denomination, because every time there was Communion at the Church, I wept. Clearly the enemy did not need much else to confirm & reaffirm that LIE over and over that I'm unworthy. Also discovering that this LIE speaks to my people pleasing & my performance of how & what I do, from a very early age, confirmed. I could give so many examples of this, so this was not a surprise. But I do know times when I believed also that "I am helpless" and the other Core Lie that "I am unlovable" - that love is earned.

I don't think by doing this study alone that I will find the RELIEF I seek, however I do know that it's a fresh start in discovering the healing God hopes to do within me and breaking the stronghold of the LIES that the enemy has used my entire life to set me up, whereas Jesus Christ has given me the Truth to defeat the LIE of the enemy and set me free.(John 8:31-32).

In biblical context, "RELIEF refers to the alleviation of distress, suffering, or hardship. ...RELIEF can be physical, emotional, or spiritual, and is a recurring theme throughout the Scriptures, highlighting God's mercy and the call for His people to act justly and compassionately."

The two Biblical words for RELIEF found in Hebrew [REVACHAH] in the Old Testament translates as RELIEF, respite, or "breathing space". "It captures the moment that crushing circumstances ease & God opens up a "spacious place" - without knowing it, this is what had happened in my life since September 6th, 2025 when I  clearly received RELIEF from God. It stood out and captured me at a time that I should have been in a  devastating grief (as for almost everyone else). I did not find myself at all in grief, but felt RELIEF, yet as I've mentioned, I struggled with not grieving and there is so much back history to this, not just the final 7 years, but at this time, I will save you the details as I sort it out and through it all. However, when I began this RELIEF post, I really did think I was going to write on this (but not yet) too raw and too soon. Then we come to the Greek word for RELIEF [ANESIS] translated in the New Testament as "RELIEF" or Rest meaning a loosening, a lessening of distress, or a relaxation of tension. ✅✅✅ That's how I felt the immediate day after when I went to Church to seek God & He spoke RELIEF into me, not grief. I am now understanding it was not because I was or became more hard-hearted but because God was starting something new for me: RELIEF from many, many years that He promises.(Joel 2:25) God will complete His healing of me - and now it will begin with exposing the LIE I believed. According to the quiz, my core LIE is "I am worthless" yet as I listen to Jennie's podcast before the study begins in many ways, my life has gone through all of them (as she states) that I believe "I am helpless", "I am unlovable" and "I am worthless" which in my opinion has led me in this late stage of my life to feel "I am hopeless", but I'm not - even in any down moment, God is my anchor, Jesus is my hope & I anchor myself to that hope I have and hold on until I see that "He, who began a good work in me. He is faithful to complete it!" so the Spirit from within rises and REFRESHES me with a good word ...

[image credit: Shaquana Roy from FG OBS]

🙌It's so beautifully done!💗

I hope Shaquana does not mind.

<>

*As REGARDS this (from above):

  "RELIEF is associated often with God's intervention, provision and the compassionate actions of individuals toward those in need."
This is definitely a time in our world, both at home and at-large, where many find themselves in need. In fact, many of us are finding ourselves in need. Times are hard. Compassion seems to be desperately in need but in short supply & not enough to go around or among us with even a small act of kindness here and there. We are facing the world's worst humanitarian crisis. Most of you that know me at all, know that all this weighs heavily upon me. God also knows this! "RELIEF is a manifestation of God's compassion and justice. It reflects His character as a loving and merciful Father... The call to provide RELIEF to others is a fundamental part of true Christian ethics", rooted in the  commandment(s) that Jesus gave us (Matthew 22:36-40) two core commandments that I believe can combat the LIES, too. I do believe that this OBS on LIES will bring me RELIEF through a RELEASE from the LIES I have believed about myself. I believe that I will see a RENEWAL of compassion in me and God will RESTORE in my core what He placed in me at my birth and rebirth ... and has been building & REBUILDING in me through His Word. I believe I will heal by His Spirit. 

As you know, I really like origin of words, which is why I wrote above to check out the Word Origin of RELIEF. It traces back to the Latin word relevare (close to Spanish also). It looks like it might fit with the last book in the Bible as well - Revelation (perhaps I'm stretching this because I've been doing Max Lucado's "What Happens Next?" and it's in my mind this last week of the OBS) But if you did happen to check out the word origin, you'd see that the word meaning is "to raise up", "lift", or "lighten" ... it was on purpose for me to draft this blog post & expand & edit a bit to republish it today on June 1st, my mom's birthday in heaven for decades now ... the 1st in my biological family and the last before me, my oldest sibling & sister, Carol, who was very much like a mother to me & to my cousins, now is home in heaven, too, since this past April, a week & a day after her 79th birthday. {the purple image moved to the beginning of this blog post is because she loved purple} So, remembering my family being HOME eternally except for me and that they were raised up - lifted up - truly does lighten my load. I read in the origin of RELIEF that "over centuries, this root evolved to describe the comforting removal of a burden..." {and a bit more related to art, a specific technique in sculpture}. My mom and youngest brother, Gary, who followed her "home to heaven" just 4 years later, both were artistic. I don't believe that my mother sculpted our Nativity scene but I remember her painting or fixing them up each Christmas, sometimes giving them a new white covering that I had the privilege to inherit, but sadly was lost in the fire that totaled our house - irreplaceable treasure of mine. And also, often at funerals, since they're fresh in my head, was a favorite song heard and was part of both my mom's & brother's, "On Eagle's Wing" by Michael Joncas ... if you listen you will hear why my thoughts go to this ... because "He will raise you up" ... now that truly is RELIEF and comfort of a burden that weighs on my heart.

You may not believe me but as I typed this and looked up out my window above the pine trees, there was an eagle, or similar bird with wings spread out flying and encircling. As you know I love "eagles" and have captured a few photos of them perched outside here, usually closer to the lake below our hill. Truly, God knows how to REveal His Love to us! 
<><><>

{I did not read this book (trust me, I have plenty that I'm reading & hopefully will get to read)}

{I just really love this photo on this book}

[image credit; book cover]

Some quotes to reflect on:

“The tears that finally streamed from her eyes were tears not of mourning but of relief, and tears for the dark unknown that lay ahead of her.” — Gwynne Forster  "Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief? " ~ William Blake  "Lord, grant me relief from my suffering, so that I may have some relief; ... Jeremiah 17:14 (NET)    "LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in Your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Psalm 143:1 (NIV)

The  3-3-3 Rule for CALMING:
Name 3 things you SEE.Name 3 sounds you HEAR.Move 3 parts of your body.
???
{if you like, you may share in the comments your 3-3-3}
<><><>
Please continue to🙏
I do need
RELIEF
... but I don't thinkRELIEFis my2026One Word

As I was closing today, I opened to "RELIEF is a common and normal Grief Emotion" - another beautiful reminder from God as He begins to heal and set me free ... such Love the Father has for us ... 💔💙💚💛💜

WALKING through that DOOR ...

Before I start my RETREAT (Monday) and the study of "RELAXED" begins, I came upon this important video, among many that I added to a playlist, because I decided that I wanted to understand the author, Megan Fate Marshman better, as I am/was reading through the book for the study - the 2nd part on "And Lean Not On Your Own Understanding" in Proverbs 3:5-6 (chapters 3-5 in her book): "on your own understanding" (chapter 4) as I moved onto chapter 5, "where can we lean?" I knew I had to pause and become "deeply" acquainted with this new author to me and when I landed on the following video, I felt compelled to share "Grieve with Hope" then led to do this for sure (to save her words) and for you/others that might also need to hear her moving message, even though it's from 3 years ago, I hope that it touches you also and moves you by the Holy Spirit to listen to all of this video (every minute of the almost 45 minutes) because it is worth every moment and every word. I will need your prayers as I tackle this and continue on because the 3rd part is "In All Your Ways Submit to Him" chapters 6-11 beginning with "Grief" then "Trials", "Risks", "Friendships", "Money" and "Mistakes". 

You Tube video

If you know me, or have seen a glimpse of me online through this blog or you version or somewhere, you probably know that I have a real hard time with "grief" from my early years as a child until recently with 2 loved ones - a precious older sister (a week ago) and my spouse (last fall). I have gone through many losses and not just through death, although I have had so many of those from grandparents; to aunts and uncles (all of them now); cousins to my entire biological family (my parents & 3 siblings); and in the last few years, many of my classmates (my age). I also have had the loss of all my earthly treasures stored in our home when a fire made it a total loss. There have been health losses and aging losses (lol) mine and all those loved ones. People close to me who have suffered the loss of their mind/memory. I have also faced the traumatic loss of suicide of a dear one that I discovered. You might say I've had my share of various losses. This quote by Vicki Harrison I have found to be one of my favorites and the truth for me. I saved this back in 2009-2010... when I lived on the Pacific Ocean, and God brought me peaceful healing through the rhythm of the waves. I somehow finally grasped hold of the Anchor ... or so I thought until the next loss came & caught me off guard. 

Yes, part of this earthly life is the losses, they're personal, and death is the ultimate, yet some of the others hit very close. Lament is necessary. I'm still not sure that I have ever learned to grieve even after reading many scriptures and wonderful books that helped me and brought me Comfort. I have gone through GriefShare also - an excellent healing, support and recovery ministry. Session 4 of the "Relaxed" study will be the 4th week from April 20th, and I covet your prayers or thoughts - it lands the week of Mother's Day, which was the first time, a year after my mom passed away, that I recall falling apart. For most of my life, my oldest sister was like a "mom" to my youngest brother & I, because our mother suffered greatly through her chronic illnesses, so our care fell on her until she needed to move on and care for our aunt, dying of cancer, and then her 4 children also. I'm so thankful that I was able to let my sister know this in this last decade on Mother's Day thanking her, and that I was able to go to the hospital on April 8th before she passed into Jesus' arms on the 10th. She knew that she had been this "mom" to our youngest brother and our cousins, but she did not realize that she had that place in my heart and life. She just celebrated her 79th birthday the week before her homegoing, yet her earthly celebration of her life here will not be until summer. 

I learned that the 5 stages of grief had become 7: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance (no particular order of sequence, or that you face all of them); but I like the ones Megan shares in this video from Pastor Rick Warren. Last fall after being a caregiver, I discovered another one: RELIEF. She also mentions this word in the video. I'm not sure this is a stage, or part of shock. I also experienced a phase of just feeling numb. However, the following from Maya Angelou echoes and at times I've found myself in: DISBELIEF as well, but I also agree with the answer to the biblical question: "Death, where is thy sting?" (1 Cor.15: 55-57) I hope you can read "When I Think of Death" by Maya Angelou (in this image).

[image credit] possibly the one on it

I hope that after finishing "RELAXED", I will have quotes from Pastor Megan to share or create in images also. On my RETREAT, I've been given a peaceful place to breathe & hope the weather is good. I still am thankful for the C.A.L.M. of Max Lucado's book (& now others).

Please save this video and take/make the time to view this video on Grief! 

Thank you!

{some day perhaps I hope to share more on my sister, Carol}

God willing 

💙

RE - something

[my first attempt to design a scene with a quote but I don't REcall the program]

It was Microsoft Designer. No, I did not create the scene, I chose it, 

but it looks like what I imagine for "Hind's Feet in High Places" 

by Hannah Hurnard and where I'd go for a RE-treat

<><><>

Since the end of 2025 and all the beginning of 2026 so far, I have not yet landed on a 2026 ONE WORD (which is really late for me). Yet I do seem to be RE-volving around many words that begin with RE - and usually as a prefix "re-" means again, however when I looked it up, I found the meaning to be: once more (similar to "again"), anew and afresh; {so I almost thought afresh might be my word just to get away from the RE- words, but no ... it isn't} - in return, and mutually. 

Afresh was close to the one that I'm almost sure was going to be the GREAT RE-velation for my 2026 One Word, especially when Roy Lessin of Meeting in the Meadow began 2026 with a Devotional Journey through the Psalms called: 

"Restore, Renew and Refresh in the Psalms"

Green Pastures. Quiet Waters. Righteous Paths.

{I almost put "Xs" in the place of those 3 RE- words because all 3, especially the final one were strong possibilities for my 2026}
<>
This post, however, is not about announcing my 2026 ONE WORD, nor is it too share the abundance of all that I am gathering on the various possibilities but I definitely am on a RE-set for 2026 of my life journey and where I am headed, starting with the next 7 weeks, beginning on Monday, April 20th, 2026 ... and today, I decided that I will make those 7 weeks (at least for now & sorry, but once again, I'll be stepping away from here, there and everywhere) as I RE-cover and take time for myself with the Lord Jesus, in what I'm calling and claiming as a RE-treat (retreat): 

"... focusing on finding peace, TRUST (2025), and rest in Jesus ..."

"... by letting go of self- reliance."Faith Gateway OBS
"RELAXED"
[RE-laxed]

So just go with me on this premise of RE-

and LAX or Laxed being the root,

which means

"loose, not tight, or lacking strictness, care, or attention"

and know that I will be placing myself again 

in a place or time of care and attention

with somewhat loose, not tight or

lacking (maybe some) strictness

while I do my best at doing

this study but

RE-maining RE-laxed

on my so-called

RE-treat

meaning

treating myself again

to special time

with

JESUS

(more than any other

RE-strictions)

like completing to check off the day's study guide

or reading or just about anything

and with a deep breath daily or often

I might RE-gain a better composure of being

RE-LAXED

with

or

like

JESUS

right here

"REtreat is *a withdrawal from a difficult, dangerous, or stressful situation, often involving a move to a safer or quieter place. As a noun, it describes a quiet, private location, or a structured period of withdrawal for meditation, study, or team building. As a verb, it means to move back, recede, or abandon a position" "... **a purposeful, temporary withdrawal from daily routines to a secluded, safe, or peaceful place to focus on rejuvenation, reflection, personal development, or specific training." *As a verb, it also can mean "to withdraw from enemy's forces as a result of their superior power or after a defeat."

Although the verb form is usually for a military army, think of this spiritually and emotionally insteadbecause most RETREATS are spiritual.

*I had to update this after I published it so that I could add that first part on REtreat, which is what I originally intended but could not find it at the time I was writing the blog post, so I used that **2nd one - just a little difference. I am not in a dangerous place but the rest does apply. It really is a time to REflect for me and rest my weary soul and mind while I pause to focus & also do 2 important Bible studies: RELAXED and one more that I didn't complete the last time. I am fortunate to be blessed with 7 acres of natural beauty, but there are also some REtreat places in this area that I might include if need be.God is so good to me & He knows best 

<>
That's a whole lot of
RE's for me!
{... but I'm sure there are many more that have surfaced (see below) & I RE-jected as One Words} lol

RE-JOICE!
{this means that you get a break from me as well}
🙏🙏🙏
I did not look ahead to any dates for when 
I will
RE-TURN
but I'll be thinking of you too while we
REST & RECUPERATE
until 
WE
RE-CONNECT
God bless & hold you close!
REMEMBER
me
as God prompts you & pray
Thank you!
💙
The REsult I hope for:
 to be "fully present..." as D. Willard described: (in the Note from Megan Fate Marshman)"... trusting in God, the Father andnot driven by fear, anxiety or a need tofulfill other's expectations"
Jesus' Relaxed Demeanor:
CALMand purposeful, setting boundariestaking time for solitude
Living without a constant need to control outcomes!
"Are You Living the Relaxed Life of Jesus?"by Megan Fate Marshman
Hoping also to
RE-gain
strength and 
RE-plenish
my worn out & weary self
I'm in a constant place
of
RE-
but the best one began with
HIS
RESURRECTION
{did you know that "surrection" is a rare, specialized term
meaning: a rising, emergence, or upright movement?}

NOTE: I was not going to publish this until SONday, but I decided to publish now in case, you'd like to join the Faith Gateway OBS and register (with or without the book or study guide, although of course it would be best - at least the study guide, because then you always have access to the video teachings) just participating in the Video Sessions with Pastor Megan Fate Marshman will benefit you deeply and greatly - she's so RELAXED (lol)😉 and you get other freebies (I think) even the first chapter. 
Let's just RE-ignite your Holy Spirit power and RE-kindle the flame inside of you with Proverbs 3:5-6! Your heart will thank you and you'll be blessed!