SECRET GARDEN 10 ~ FORGIVENESS

The song "Nocturne" that I shared yesterday was meant as a prelude to this. But not because of the darkness that lurks, yet the HOPE in HIS Light and Forgiveness; Lord, Help me to be a forgiving person, to move in forgiveness~  YOURS, mine to others and others toward me. Reveal areas in me that need this!

Today, I entered the Secret Garden and as you can tell, I turned back to seek refuge in another place away from the garden, a path that leads to the "pines" in my life. They have surrounded me and shaded me, towered over me for far too long. There is a cool, fresh, darkness as I walk back down these paths of the past, places of forgiveness. Some that I dealt with immediately, some that have taken me a while to confront. Others that I truly felt I had "forgiven" yet the wounds or the scars are still there. I know that I have shared here different times of "forgiveness". 


More rocks in my path but you can read two of my 15 "forgiven" here and here so on this walk I will not belabor you with them. Here in His "aMazing Grace", I share the power of being forgiven and forgiving others, not quite the 7 X 70 of the Bible with any one person except maybe myself (490 times in my life, I am sure I have surpassed) I usually am eager to forgive and get beyond the problem. But again, "was this a situation of just the words and not a matter from my heart?" I pondered over some of the monumental ones. I pretty easily will ask, "will you forgive me?" for not so serious messes. And many offenses against me, I quickly would run to God and tell Him, I forgive so and so... for this or that. At least it seems to be the start, to speak it forth with hopes that the heart soon follows. Yes, I need to move in forgiveness, God's and mine.

The light that shines through the "pines" of  any unforgiveness quickly shed His Light to remind me how He forgives me as I come to Him and confess. Many times, my confession is reluctant because I fail to admit that though I was wronged, I need to forgive. Reluctant at other times, because I fail to see where I was wrong. The hardest forgiveness is one of regret, one of not forgiving oneself. Yet I was reminded that if God can forgive me, "am I greater than God?" to deny forgiving myself. If God forgives us as far as the east is from the west, should we not also find a way to forgive.

"...To enjoy the freedom, wholeness and true success God has for us, forgiveness has to flow like liquid in your heart." S.O.


Harboring unforgiveness, stops the flow of the Spirit in us and also can keep your prayers from being answered. 


(1) We need to turn any unforgiveness into FOR-give-ness be-FORe we even PRAY. Jesus gives to us so that we must give to others. "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” 


(2) Being in this unforgiven status with someone, will eat away at our mind and body, straining our relationship with them and God, even our own conscience, which causes us to loose all peace. It is not worth it. I know someone who says they forgive but there seems to be signs that he's hanging on to a few moments of inner revenge. It surfaces every once and awhile, and God's light shines on it.


"Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it makes you free." - S.O.


To find wholeness and true success, we have to be FREE! Forgiveness  enables us to move on with our life.


RECEIVE GOD'S FORGIVENESS... this is one of the best ways to become a forgiving person and understand God's forgiveness of you.(3)


"The only way to receive God's forgiveness for our unforgiveness is to forgive others completely." - S. O.


REFUSE TO GET STUCK IN UNFORGIVENESS (4) 
Unforgiveness is rooted in hate. 
(5) When we choose not to forgive, we end up walking in the dark.


THREE REASONS TO FORGIVE: (from "Life's Healing Choices" by Jon Baker) Another book I have been working through since this summer when I was home with a small group from my home church. I was up to this step when I left; the
RELATIONSHIP CHOICE ~ Repairing Relationships (which I need the most but not just for me but to help others as well)


1) God has FORGIVEN me. Colossians 3:13
2) RESENTMENT doesn't work. Job 5:2; Job 18:4; Job 21:23-25
3) I will need FORGIVENESS in the future. Mark 11:25


THREE STEPS of FORGIVENESS: 
1) I REVEAL my hurt.
2) I RELEASE the offender.Matthew 18:21-22
3) I REPLACE my hurt with God's peace. Colossians 3:15


HOW TO MAKE AMENDS and HOW TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS:
1) Make a list of the people I have harmed and what I did to them
2) Think how I would like someone to make amends to me.
   ~Do it at the RIGHT time. Ecclesiastes 8:6
   ~Do it with the RIGHT attitude. Ephesians 4:15
   ~Do it without EXPECTATIONS. 
   ~Do it in an appropriate way. Proverbs 12:18
   ~Make RESTITUTION wherever possible.


REFOCUS my life on DOING GOD'S WILL in my relationships starting now! 
Job 11:13, 15-16 


"GOD NEVER WASTES A HURT! He can use the painful lessons to touch others. You'll find it easier to forgive the hurts of the past if your focus is LESS on yourself and more on helping others. This is not about denial; it's about being "being transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 and choosing to LOOK FORWARD so your past looses its power over you."

I think it's time I head out of these pine trees and into the Light, return to the beauty of allowing Christ to show me FORGIVENESS in the Garden. I will always choose to forgive and seek forgiveness from God and others. I did not linger long  enough here. 

"Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation …Forgiveness does not excuse anything... You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness…” ~ William P.Young 

Bridget Chumbley reminded me of the above quote from "The Shack". [She (Bridget Chumbley) hosts a theme blog carnival every other week, and just last week the topic that many great writers shared on was: RECONCILIATION ~ to be restored in harmony with another may need to start with forgiving and being forgiven... gotta get to the ROOT of the problem here in my garden...

Lord, help me to be a forgiving person. Show me where I am not. Expose the recesses of my soul so I won't be locked up by unforgiveness and jeopardize my future. If I have any anger, bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness that I am not recognizing, reveal it to me and I will confess it to You as sin.


Specifically I ask You to help me fully forgive (name anyone you feel you need to forgive). Make me to understand the depths of Your forgiveness toward me so that I won't hold back forgiveness from others. I realize that my forgiving someone doesn't make them right; it makes me free. I also realize that You are the Only One who knows the whole story, and You will see justice done.


Help me to forgive myself for the times I have failed. And if I have blamed You for things that have happened in my life, show me so I can confess it before You. Enable me to love my enemies as You have commanded in Your Word. Teach me to bless those who curse me and persecute me. Remind me to pray for those who hurt or offend me so that my heart will be soft toward them. I don't want to become hard and bitter because of unforgiveness. Make me a person who is quick to forgive. 


Lord, show me if I have any unforgiveness toward my mother or father for anything they did or did not do or say. I don't want to shorten my life by not honoring them. Where there is distance between me and any other family member because of unforgiveness, I pray You would break down that wall. Help me to forgive every time I need to do so. Where I can be an instrument of reconciliation between other family members who have broken or strained relationships, enable me to do that.


I don't want anything to come between You and me, Lord, and I don't want my prayers to be hindered because I have entertained sin in my heart. I choose this day to forgive everyone and everything, and walk free from the death that unforgiveness brings. If any person has unforgiveness toward me, I pray You would soften their heart to forgive me and show me what I can do to help resolve this issue between us. I know that I cannot be a light to others as long as I am walking in the darkness of unforgiveness. I choose to walk in the light as You are in the light and be cleansed from all sin.


Scriptures:
(1) Psalm 66:18
(2) Mark 11:25
(3) Luke 6:37
(4) 1 John 3:21-22
(5) 1 John 3:15
(6) Matthew 18:32-35
(7) Matthew 5:48
(8) 1 John 1:7


PRAYER POWER
Hebrews 8:12
Ephesians 4:32


WORD POWER
Luke 6:37
1 John 2:10-11
Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 5:23-24
Matthew 6:14-15


GOD'S PROMISES TO ME
Luke 6:37
Proverbs 19:11
Matthew 5:44-45
1 John 2:11


THINKING ALOUD and sharing my thoughts and plans (or lack):


My dear SECRET GARDEN readers, I pray that you FORGIVE ME because of my lack in these "walks" being together and now that I am choosing once again to not continue with them, though I have some setup in draft... I "FEAR" I am not able to continue with these and the one for tomorrow would have been FEAR, followed by God's Will then PURPOSE, then I was going to break again until December 14th, with the 14th SECRET GARDEN POST. 


I wanted to keep these in order... so for now I FEAR that I will not be moving forward in the GARDEN (we are only through a third of them)... but God willing, I will find my way back to HIS GARDEN and HE to my Garden to search my heart on the 'paths' yet to be: BASKING IN GOD'S LOVE; Hope; God's Way; Control of our Thoughts; Negative emotions; Treat Your Body as a temple; Healer; Say "no" to temptation; Destructive relationships; Speak Words of life; Be Holy; Recognize the enemy; Fast and pray; Stand strong in God's power; Move in God's Power; Refuse to Give up...which sounds where I should venture next... but my mind is flooded and I must WAIT on the LORD. Please FORGIVE ME. 


The lesson in this: take one day at a time and try not to plan out a series unless you can commit to completing the entire WALK. I have had many other opportunities that have prevented me from staying in my Secret Garden. I must confess I have grown weary and lost my footing for right now. It may be some time before I'm able to dig deep and continue planting or weeding in my Garden... the HARVEST is not yet over nor the time of growing, but I need to take serious time to gather my thoughts and life, so what I plant bears fruit.


I love my Secret Garden and times here in it... yet to wander through without much change or commitment to 11-30 of the chapters left would not make this a POWERFUL LIFE of Prayer. And that is the purpose of time well spent in the Garden.


Many diversions and other paths to follow at the moment, but God wants us to stay focused to present Him in the best Light and clearly as the Only Way. 


So I will WAIT and trust Him as I wait for the inspiration to continue in My Secret Garden with the same JOY I began. Keep planting good seed, water well and watch for growth, new blooms and beauty flourishing in your garden.






(10) More in forgiveness - God & yours (S.O.) PPL ~ Help me to be a forgiving person (S.O.) PPW

THE FINAL ACT and LETTER of FORGIVENESS

Once more, I apologize that this is such a long post 

but I did my best to minimize this testimony of one

ACT of FORGIVENESS

from my life

for the theme this month at

The Proverbial Sunrise.

Love is patient and kind;

Love is not jealous or boastful;

it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

After mentioning this in one of The Proverbial Sunrise posts on FORGIVENESS this month that I would be sharing a special personal testimony of ONE forgiveness that meant the world to me, besides the MOST important one of JESUS CHRIST, the LORD continued to reveal to me almost daily, different times in my life when this matter of FORGIVENESS was key to my spiritual as well as emotional healing to go forward in Christ. Thus, it made me focus on at least 3 or 4 that were paramount in my life, which might mean I have much more work to do still. So I will go back to the first one that was on my mind originally when I made that remark and do my best to share this experience as briefly as I can. ("LOVE IS PATIENT and KIND") So bear with me!

As a teenager and young adult, I was very rebellious to my earthly father, which means also to my heavenly Father. ("LOVE DOES NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY") I must admit that not only am I very stubborn but I'm sure I must have been a strong willed child also. Some of my rebellion was justified (of course) at least in my eyes, because my father was quite the same in nature, but he was a strong racist (we strongly differed in this) (and he let me know, in no uncertain terms that he had his reasons). God forgive him. I love my dad, he was just a little hard to deal with ...

I, on the other hand, hated the injustices and inequalities that I saw in the news or in our community or heard from my dad's opinions. As a teen, I began working in the inner city and boy, was my father upset with that ... that his daughter was going into these neighborhoods and working with the people from other races, teaching and helping them. I worked in some excellent programs of the public school district as I trained to be a teacher. I received quite a bit of flack from my dad as well as protective warnings and what he considered as good advice. ("LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE...")

The short of this story is that I married a Hispanic, that was well educated and shared my interests, concerns and was an educator ... a great role model for me. But he was much older than I and he had been previously married. That was 3 strikes against him, as far as my dad was concerned. Without sharing many details, I was told by my father, in love, that if I do marry him, I cannot bring him home to our house. And of course, my rebellious nature, chose to exercise my free will of strong love and admiration, and I married him against my families' wishes, which means I had no church wedding or family celebration (though a few months after we were married we had our own wedding reception with another recently married couple). So on life went. I never realized how serious that decision would be in my life and how difficult my marriage would become, especially without family support. ("IT IS NOT ARROGANT OR RUDE")

Time passes and I abide by my father's wishes but holidays were so difficult. Then enters the picture, two half Hispanic children that we adopt, from my husband's side of the family. Now I really want them to be accepted and I want them to come to my family's home for all the major family celebrations. They were welcomed and accepted (but by my father, they were not really my children, though they were adopted by both of us legally). He treated them the same as all his grandchildren, he reminded me often. ("IT DOES NOT REJOICE AT WRONG, BUT REJOICES IN THE RIGHT") I know my dad loved me and our kids.

As time passes, my mother, after suffering for years with many medical problems, went home to be with the Lord...and life became more difficult for me. I found myself distancing from my husband but drawing closer to the Lord. I was very involved with church life and children activities, as I was the sole person raising our children in the church. I attended so many wonderful conferences as a teacher, parent and spiritual leader. But the first one that really began a spiritual growth and change in me, was Basic Youth Conference of Bill Gothard. I went to this because of a small group Bible Study I was attending called "Rebuilders" (for rebuilding your marriage) we went as a group. My eyes were opened to everything, but what stood out was when they spoke to the youth about asking FORGIVENESS of their parents for their rebellion and the importance of that for their life & future marriage. (gulp!)

I was brought to my knees. I knew that part of the consequences of my marriage difficulties stemmed from my rebellious nature. I knew that the root of that rebellion was directly related to my relationship with my dad. I stopped on my way home that night from the conference and asked my dad for his forgiveness. I even repeated it a few different ways and it was as if my dad didn't hear me. He did not say those powerful words, "It's alright. I forgive you." but I had done my part, I had come to him, admitted my rebellion and asked for his forgiveness. He went in his room and brought out something entirely different and I went home that night with a release in my heart but not in my spirit. ("LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS...")

Years pass, and my father is called to his heavenly home suddenly & without warning while I am in Mexico. I had received a letter from him on that day, September 13th that he had mailed to me in August. I immediately tried calling him all day, unable to reach him. So I sat down and began to write a heartfelt letter to him, not knowing that he had passed away. I wrote how much I love my dad, what it meant to me to be his daughter and how much I really needed his approval and for him to be pleased with me. Feelings I had never expressed, but needed to tell him.

The next day, two friends had been called by my husband to please notify me in person that my dad had died. They did and then they warmly offered to fly me to Phoenix so I could get a flight home but the airlines into Minneapolis-St. Paul were on strike. In a round about way, I finally made that trip home. My older sister & brother had made all the arrangements but waited my dad's wishes to be cremated until I could say my good bye. I'm so thankful and glad that they did. I read him the letter I had written him (which I still save) and gave him a hug. I was strengthened by my time with him in my spirit and was able to give the eulogy at his Catholic mass, sharing my dad's history and who he was...to each of us.

As my sister, brother and I collected all of his personal belongings and cleaned out his apartment and his earthly possessions, I was asked if I wanted our family bible. I gladly said "yes" and inside was a letter from my dad to all of us. His letter started with my mom & all she meant to him, then from the oldest to the youngest, he mentioned each one of the four of us.

When he got to me, he called me by my nickname (which he did not do before that) and he wrote that I had broken his heart with my rebellion (not his exact words) but that no matter what, he FORGIVES me. Golden words etched by his pen to me... words I had waited to hear for more than 10 years since I had asked. I was forgiven. My dad forgave me. He took the time to write those words, "I forgive my Peggy". Those precious words never meant more than that moment. I have prayed them many times and listed those that I needed to forgive and forgave, but the freedom that came with these words from my dad, I will never forget.

I treasure that letter! It's kept in my bible. This letter also confirmed to me that He knew Our Lord Jesus as his personal Savior. [He was raised Protestant and converted to Catholicism to marry my mom and he was a devout Catholic.] I needed this confirmation and this blessing. This letter is my release from a prison that was created around my life and the beginning of my healing and freedom through his forgiveness.

My dear pastor had counseled me years earlier, after my brother died and walked me through "The Steps to Freedom in Christ" by Neil T. Anderson. There are 12 steps to FORGIVENESS , a crucial part to healing. We took a list of other people that I had forgiven, prayed through each one and then burned that paper with each name. Then he told me that with this all done, now I must forgive myself. I broke into tears as we were praying and was not ready, actually I could not forgive myself... and there were many reasons I gave. (Lord, forgive me!) Bless my precious pastor.

It was pointed out to me (not by him but by another dear friend) that when we can't FORGIVE someone, even ourselves, it means that we are saying that we are superior or greater than God. Now, that certainly was not true, but since HE has FORGIVEN US, who are we to not forgive ourselves? Are we better? Are we higher than God? Are we exalting ourselves above Him? Clearly, we don't want to do this, but our inability to forgive ourselves says that ... so I was broken & I was able to come to that place of FORGIVENESS. With 1st Corinthian's LOVE, you will FORGIVE!

Have you been in the prison of unforgiveness?

Is there someone you need to forgive?

Is there someone that you need to ask to forgive you?

DO IT NOW

before you are not able to reconcile...

The release will be such a blessing!

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.

First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

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Forgiveness

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Added clarification note:

Oh, and actually THE FINAL ACT OF FORGIVENESS is the one that you receive from Jesus as you are forgiven by His Mercy, His Grace, His eternal Forgiveness which gives you life eternally with Him. Sin keeps you away from receiving this. Sin distance you from God. God, the Father sent His Son Jesus Christ to bridge the gap between God & man. We must admit that we are sinners daily. We need to confess our wrongs one to another. To die without asking Jesus to redeem us from our sinful nature and sin filled life, accepting His death on the Cross as payment for all our wrongs is the key to eternal life. To be in sin separates us from God. To be separate from God is what sin does and hell does eternally, prevents us from being in His Presence. It is our choice, it is our free will. But with THE FINAL ACT of FORGIVENESS on our lips, confess & receive today, forgive and be forgiven, receive the gift of eternal salvation that means not living separate from God or other loved ones, who have put their faith & trust in Jesus, for all eternity in heaven. ACCEPT, BELIEVE, CONFESS and start a fresh, clean walk forever with THE FINAL ACT & FORGIVE & BE FORGIVEN. His Letter to us is written in the Bible!