December 2nd & the 6th ... Difficult Days but "You Say"

This song is in my head and on my heart for quite some time now and beckons me to share it here although it has nothing to do with this date, December 2nd nor the upcoming December 6th (which both mark the date of significant loss of a loved one) and always starts my Christmas season out with remembrance of each one, sometimes difficult, sometimes not, but never goes by without me noting a difference in the day ... sometimes it's then that I look at the date, and realize why - because these special people made a lasting imprint for years on my life, and now they're missing from my life. 

The one for today, especially at this season of the year, is my precious mother. It's been far too long to dwell in the pain or grief of such a loss - more than 30 yrs. but I still miss her and probably always will, this side of eternity. I tried to rationalize the reason for this song with anything with either of these people and I come up with nothing like ... it's because they taught me this or made me feel like this ... just anything at all that deals with a connection ... and there's none to these significant people, but it's very much connected to My One Word for 2018. In fact, I'd like to say, it's become my theme song for this One Word (and in case you've forgotten what my One Word is - it's repeated often, perhaps the most) ... so, see if you can pick it out or remember as you listen or read the lyrics of Lauren Daigle's "You Say":

"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak And You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) Oh, I believe Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I) What You say of me (I) Oh I believe (oh) "

So, it would have made more sense to write a tribute to my mother or have a song that reminds me of her or a favorite of hers, but truthfully, I cannot think of one, nor did I share a relationship with my mother that was close or affirming, like I've seen with other mother-daughter relationships. I think this is mostly because I recall so much of our time together with her being 'not well'. She suffered quite a lot and so letting her go at the age of 65 seemed to be the best for her and a blessing. Yet as I now approach that age (next year), I can better understand and I'm not suffering of any chronic illness or on as many medications as she took plus needing an oxygen tank daily must have been so debilatating and such a cross to bear. 

[photo of my mom]
I guess the one truth I did learn was that there will be suffering in this world (John 14:27) yet we must press on as best we can. Now I try to hold on with a hopeful expectation to Revelation 21:4 and Romans 8:18. My mother, being a devout Roman Catholic, probably would not have known those verses yet believed these truths anyways and have been familiar with this message, knowing it full well in her earthly living. I truly believe that because of what I've seen in her lifetime and now mine, the basic truth found in Romans 5:3-5:
"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ESV
You may be asking yourself, like I started this, wondering what's the connection between this song, your new theme song for 2018 and your mother or sharing these together with suffering?
It's basically found in what I have come to BELIEVE - and as this song speaks to me and my heart, my life, the core of lyrics that voice how I've felt for much of my life however I've been blessed to know and have a personal relationship with Jesus, that speaks truth into my being, especially when I battle or stuggle with lies. It's very difficult to rejoice in suffering or see others suffering. I may not physically suffer like my mom did, but I've known suffering as many of us do encounter along our life journey ... Yet this song reminds me of where my worth and identity lies - that I belong to God, I am His, no matter what - what God says of me, is really all that matters or counts, which has produced in me - endurance and hopefully character! Now that's the correlation of living with this hope that iBelieve which does not put me to shame because of God's love poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. This is so tied to all iBELIEVE, not given to me by my mother, but shown to me, by the suffering I saw her go through and how that impacted me. I love my mother and know God loves me and her enough!
Every word in the song "You Say" is true to me and speaks volumes to me from God's heart to mine, encouraging me to
BELIEVE
... when ...
'I can't feel a thing'
when
'I think I am weak'
when
'I am falling short'
when
'I don't belong' (either told or feel that I don't)
when
'I don't measure up'
when
I'm just not enough
when
I fail
when
I just need to know
what HE says of me
(not my mother, not my father, not my siblings, or my spouse)
NOT EVEN
a dear friend or church family or my past
just what
YOU SAY
LORD
i Believe
because
I am Yours!
You
are
Enough
even when I am not

"GOD WILL MAKE A WAY..."

... but this isn't just about 

Don Moen's

awarding winning song,

it's the title to his new 'memoir' 

his first-ever book,

"God Will Make a Way

Discovering His Hope in Your Story"

by

Don Moen with Robert Noland

... released on October 16th, 2018, and I couldn't wait to get my hard bound copy to review. For me, to not only read a book by Don Moen, one of my first, personal, favorite worship leader and song writer, which is an honor and delight, but to read one with this song as it's title and theme of hope, starting out with learning the 'story behind the song' for him - because this song (among many of his songs that I love) holds a significant personal meaning for me in 1990, and I never knew the tragic family story from 1987 nor the verse in Isaiah 43:19 until reading this book, followed by listening to his DonMoen.tv video of the story at YouTube. Such an inspirational moment of hope from God to Don Moen to give hope to his loved ones when they really needed "God to make a way". In the same way, as this song, this book pours forth much hope, even now for me, once again in a place where I needed to be reminded of how "God will make a way." Since we each face hard times in our lives, we need a song or book like this to see us through ... and to get us beyond what's happening, to a renewal of hope and fresh faith, to believe God is supernaturally still working behind the scenes of what we see with our eyes to what the Way Maker (God) has done and is doing that may not be so easily seen.

"God Will Make a Way ..." has a Forward by Manny Pacquiao, an Introduction (which is Don's 'personal note to the Weary and the Leary' - me, when I received this book) and 12 Chapters of "God Will Make a Way ..." Through the Storm, Through Our Surrender, Through His Calling, Through Our Trials, Through the Movement of His Spirit, Through Providing His Platform, Through His Miracles, Through Our Testimony, Through Life's Interruptions, Through Our Cooperation with Him, Through Our Worship in Spirit and Truth ... right back to the statements of hope and faith asked in his Introduction, bringing us or leaving us with "God Will Make a Way ... Through His Hope" with a beautiful ending prayer, as he prefaces with: 

"If I was somehow able to sit down with you for a few minutes, this is what I would want us to agree in prayer together for your life ..."

... and as you read through this encouraging book, this is exactly how you feel, as if Don Moen is sitting with you, sharing with you, encouraging you on ... through his personal stories, scriptures and song lyrics that will be familar to those who know his worship songs, with the same worship filled heart that leads us in spirit and truth to the throne room of God in so many of his lifetime of worship albums. He humbly leads us through his life and story, behind the scenes of his songs and ministry, while making a way for us to discover God's hope in our story, whatever our circumstance(s) may be. My only wish is that each of his chapters would have ended with one of his worshipful prayers as only some did (2,3,10,13). I enjoyed the middle section of 4 pages of personal photos that put faces with the people and stories included. I have so many parts marked that I thought I would share in my review, but since there are so many I didn't, so you'll really have to read the book for yourself because I'm sure these personally applied to my life and others will encourage you in your life with whatever you're facing as this book did for me, changing my "nots" into hopeful declarations with a new message of grace (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) because not only can God make a way, He will, even when there doesn't seem to be a way! I read and reread pages time and time again, and know that I will in the future, when I need to be reminded, but the last chapter ... 'through His Hope', with his ten Praise Principles, will be one I will open often, because like Don wrote in that chapter: "Living without hope creates mental, emotional, and spiritual ache in the soul, that leads to a desperate desire to numb life ..." so instead "I Will Sing, I will praise ... " 

I can't say enough about "God Will Make a Way" ... and how thankful I am for having had the privilege to read and have this book added to my library. It definitely is worth it to me to break free from the crushing weight and reality of life's circumstances, thoughts and feelings that devastate us or cause despair and doubt. And who better, than a beloved worship leader, pastor, producer, artist and song writer, to show you the way to the Way Maker, who ultimately is our anchor of Hope, Jesus? 

Disclosure: I received this book free through BookLook Bloggers, from the publisher, in return for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTCs 16 CFR, Part 255

{Ok, maybe I'm a little biased as a fellow Minnesotan to Don Moen}

"... PRAYER ... and the Promise that Changes Everything"

This is not an actual Book Review, but more like an announcement of a new book (actually 2 books, and 1 will be an Online Bible (Book) Study (OBS) with FaithGateway starting October 8, 2018). However, both books, without even reading them yet, I guarantee are worthwhile considerations to add to your wish list of books to get. I have read enough of these two authors that with sight unseen (which means book unread) I can vouch that each book will help you grow as a human being and a fruitful Christian. The truth is I am doing a sample of one of the books at You Version and I just received my order of the other one as an ebook deal in Kindle. I decided I needed to find time to get online and write this post, so that if you also are interested that you can take advantage of the very best prices. Clearly, the FaithGateway one, available through their OBS, which will also share the author in video teachings, is lower at this time through them so you will register for their 5 session study with a great teacher. 

Honestly, I jumped online to share just the one I quickly purchased, but as I started, I couldn't help but think about the one I'm currently doing with a small group of sisters in Christ, at YouVersion, so I'm sharing them both, but my priority:

"When you call to me, I will answer you." (Psalm 91:15 GW)

...if anyone understands  desperation for God to answer you answer your endless prayers it would be me...
but because I know and have read other books by Cherie Hill and connected with her years ago personally on her websites through emails, etc. enough so I feel as if I know her when she writes it's as if she gets you and is speaking right with you. Cherie is clear in her messages, insights and her heart  for God and His people.

Her Introduction immediately drew me in with these words, so if given a break and a few free extra hours, I will continue & finish

"I don't know what you're going through at this moment, what you've been through in the past, or what lies ahead in your future, but God does. He's the One who answers prayers and brings about the miracles you desperately need. That's why you need prayer-it's God's gift to you

Cherie Hill knows what prayer is (check out Scripture Now and see) ... and in this book she addresses the "toughest dilemma every Christian faces: doubt." ... "In this encouraging, affirming exploration of our constant battle with unbelief, author Cherie Hill offers a deeply personal, compelling approach to transforming your own faith by honestly examining your doubt." As an author, Cherie Hill relates to us from a compassionate, understanding heart that knows, with a deep, spiritual insight and much Biblical wisdom. As with all of her books, reading this will be 'eye-opening, heart changing and faith building' and without a doubt, Cherie will pack this book full of God's promises in His Word, prayer promises that will help us take our stand and the 5 chapters will transform your life journey and definitely your prayer life! right into "Your War Room" she will move you to be honest and trust God as you talk and listen to Him - give her and "The Problem of Prayer and the Promise that Changes Everything" a faith trial run, I know you'll be glad you did.
And as far as the other book, you will be changed also, just click on the links to find out more about "unexpected - a journal of faith - leave fear behind, move forward in faith, embrace the adventure". 

"THROUGH MY FATHER'S EYES..."

Book Description "USA Today Bestseller List. Many have written about Billy Graham, the evangelist. This is the first book about Billy Graham, the father, written from the perspective of a son who knew him best. ... “My father left behind a testimony to God,” says Franklin, “a legacy not buried in a grave but still pointing people to a heaven-bound destiny. The Lord will say to my father, and to all who served Him obediently, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’ [Matthew 25:21].

  One of the first books I requested to review years ago was "Unto the Hills" written by Billy Graham, so with this book, "Through My Father's Eyes" I will have made a full circle with my respect to this devoted, beloved evangelist, that I have watched and read his books for years: Billy Graham; and who would know him better than his own son, Franklin, giving us an insider insight into this man of God. 
I received this book in the mail this summer but it was actually released back on May 1st, 2018 and I immediately began a sample Bible reading plan at You Version of this book because I couldn't wait to get it. I have it as a hard cover and also in my Kindle Reader because I have been meticulously reading this insightful book that is not just a close look at the life and ministry of Billy Graham, but also as the title indicates "Through My Father's Eyes", which can connote both Franklin's relationship with his dear earthly father, Billy Graham, and seeing things through his eyes as he watched and followed his dad, yet more than that seeing all things with a heavenly perspective, of our Heavenly Father - that both these men have given such a testament of living a life "through our Father in heaven's eyes". So this book is a living biographical tribute to both of Franklin's parents, Billy and Ruth Graham Bell, and also that of Franklin and the entire Graham family. I was deeply moved by each one of them at the celebration (funeral) of his life as each one spoke ... and these pages beautifully continue the legacy in a heartwarming yet biblical as well as bringing forth the message of Billy Graham of salvation through Jesus Christ! 
Franklin Graham (with Donna Lee Toney) must have had this book in the works for many years because it details so much from the Preface and Introduction right through to the end. The Preface and Introduction are so well thought out and explain well Franklin's reflection of the relationship he enjoyed with his earthly father for 65 years as the book goes on to clearly show in 13 chapters ending with "Legacy" and how we can enjoy a divine relationship with Jesus Christ, the message of Franklin's father throughout his lifetime, now past on because those of us who are Christian know that Jesus told his disciples "...only through Me, can you come to the Father" (my paraphrase of "No one comes to the Father except through Me.") However, I challenge even those who do not believe in God or Jesus to read this excellent biographical account of a man of God, who lived an example before his family and the world.
Each of the 13 chapters begin with a biblical scripture and then a quote from Billy Graham, with so much included as well as a continual flow of God's Word speaking forth truth and continuing the powerful message of Billy Graham beyond the hills or "unto the hills" for now that he is in heaven, he has that complete picture and perspective "through the eyes of Our Father" along with his bride, Ruth Graham Bell. There is a beautiful collection of photos for 24 pages inserted between page 240 and 241 in the hardcover book. A wonderful bonus! I highly recommend this as a great resource of a biography of the Reverend Billy Graham, the Graham family, BGEA, Samaritan's Purse (and other ministries of the Evangelical Association and Graham family) as a gift or individual purchase - it is well worth it and so inclusive of Billy Graham's life and love for his family, God, his wife and the salvation message of the God.
{Personal note: I chose this date to publish my review because this is the date my earthly father went home to be with the Lord and joined my mother and brother, only 15 days short of his 90th birthday - an though my dad and I rarely saw "eye to eye" on a wide variety of topics, I do know that I learned and live the legacy of my father and the love of God, because I was taught about God from a young age, given a private education because my father worked hard to give his family the best he was able, much like Billy Graham gave to his own earthly family and many that came to Jesus because of this Evangelist. I honor both men, my dad and Billy Graham, who learned to know, love and serve God in whatever they did and left a legacy to their families and the church family, which is well documented in this uplifting detailed book of a life well-lived. I pray my own life would end so gloriously in Jesus' name and to Him be all glory, honor and praise. Thank You Father, for the life of my dad and Franklin's, one who moved and touched the world for God and the other who touched and moved my world to want to love, know and serve God and gave me this opportunity!}
Thanks dad! Truly receiving, reviewing and reading this book has blessed me and it would have been your birthday gift this year on September 28th if you were still here (it's been the longest 20 yrs. without you and even more without mom and Gary) but because I have the privilege of knowing Jesus, I will see you all again and look forward to that day. And in my eyes, my dad looks similar to Billy Graham (like the cover on the book). Truly this book's a keepsake for me and a tribute to my dad going home on this day in 1998, and Billy Graham's heavenly homecoming on February 21st of this year (20 yrs. after my dad).

Disclosure: I received this book free through BookLook Bloggers, from the publisher, in return for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTCs 16 CFR, Part 255

AN UNEXPECTED MAZE ENDING ...

... OR NOT ...
[This is actually being written in November. but as I often do, moved back to another earlier date as my added bold note on the last post in this "Unexpected Maze..." Journey. I finally have some available time to write an update, which is positive and hopeful, at this point.]
During October, my spouse made quite a recovery & remarkable progress; with and without his walker, with his once a week visit from Hospice RN and other team members. So much so that we were told in advance that he was doing so well, based on sheer will, determined to regain his life and the capacity to go on, that he would most likely no longer qualify for Hospice Care and he couldn't wait to be independent and on his own. He officially was terminated on November 4th, although his last visit from any Hospice was on Nov. 2nd. He didn't even wait until his official termination to ask a dear friend a favor of taking him into town to a favorite restaurant to eat. So off they went that Saturday afternoon. 
Now, most of us, realize that this was the extended warranty of God's mercy and grace on this individual's life to come to the knowledge and acceptance of knowing Jesus Christ, however, sadly, so far, he has seen this as his own recovery and strength so that he can tie up other loose ends of his life and projects that he was working on with special people that he wants to complete and is continuing as able, with any of their outside help, meeting his demand or requests. One of my fears is that he will spend too much time on his ideas instead of allowing God to reach him, among other fears and stresses I have with my many insecurities, now adding or increasing health problems in me. What a vicious cycle the enemy lays out when he fears he's loosing a soul! (my opinion) The battle and scheme just takes another turn or twist in the 'maze', Yet I still hold on to all iBelieve and the promises I claim in God's Word. 
So this man, suffers a near death destiny placed on palliative care, from a stroke to his cerebellum that moves to the frontal lobe of his brain, further impairing his speech, but never gives him any paralysis so he is able to recover. He's seen his regular, primary doctor twice and only put on one medication daily and one shot of insulin weekly for his diabetes, nothing so far for his Alzheimers at all. I remember having one opportunity in his intensive care unit room to speak life into him, after he made his view clear to me that he believes that when his life ends on this earth, it ends and that's it. I told him that I don't believe that and because I believe in Jesus, I believe that there is a better life after this one ends. Death is not the end. However, I guess, if I thought as he does, that there is nothing else afterwards, I too, would be determined to continue fighting to live and accomplish all I could. But none of this, or any earthly endeavors will bring about an extended, eternal life or guarantee of salvation ... only Jesus. Jesus, still is the only way. Jesus still is the One who saves us from perishing. My heart broke in the hospital when I thought that he may die and perish. It's hard to know someone you know and have prayed for might actual never receive everlasting life and perish. It was so difficult to believe that God would allow this to just happen, not the God, who I know, who loves me, who redeemed me from sin and death. 
At this point, life goes on ... but this 'unexpected maze' although it may seem like it ended when Hospice Care ended ... and this might be considered a blessed miracle or else we just came to one of those parts in the maze where there is no exit ... so you go back and look for another way ... that the Way Maker provides if and when we open our heart and lives to the One and Only WAY out of this 'Maze' ...


still praying and believe
MY GOD
***
I chose 9/11 to post this because it also marks an event with far too many tragic endings to other "unexpected mazes" we may never understand this side of eternity so I'm so thankful for an eternity with God to end the mess and maze of this world <><
"I would have despaired unless I had BELIEVED that I would see the goodness of the Lord..."
Psalm 27:13-14 NASB continues with
"...in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."