The HARD Part to WRITE; and to READ but IT Must be SAID

MY LENTEN REFLECTION

unlike any other blog post by me

(please see *my note at the very end)

* [image credit: Bruce Reyes-Chow]

This is one of those blog posts that I'd never have thought I'd write and even as I write it, I have to wonder IF I should or IF I will be bold enough to publish it or even IF I will be able to express what's on my heart and in my mind as I sense such an urgency at this point in my life and at this point in our nation's history that I must speak up. I'd like to say that I'm writing the following with no judgment, criticism or condemnation but that isn't or wouldn't be entirely true.

Since I have been in prayer for our nation fervently for quite some time but never so consistently daily; and for our leaders - our President & Vice President, as well as the "Church" (Christian, or those who believe that they are) and for the war torn countries that wear heavily upon my heart, I can no longer hold back from saying something stronger than I have ever done in my writings here. As I come back online after being mostly absent; I figure that this might be the best time to do so. [This is a very serious and drastic issue in this blog post and so I do not take writing this lightly. It is meant for me and for you - for such a time as this - in our lives, in our nation and in this world.]

I will start out slowly and hope that my words do not drive anyone reading this away from finishing this blog or my future blog posts. I pause every so often to try and allow God's Spirit to direct and guide my words. My first thoughts were not any of the words that I began thinking I would write when I started (actually when I felt compelled to write this blog post and sat down to begin it) but I felt I needed to preface this with some sort of explanation. I found that what I've written does not and it seems I can't. So please allow me to sort out my thoughts as I write this.

In these recent years, I have felt stronger than ever before - about being born "white" (Caucasian) - quite frankly, as I write this, I can recall different times when somehow this has surfaced. I will refrain from detailing those times right now. The reason I write this, is because for the first time I am giving voice to almost feeling shame that I was born "white". Don't take this wrong (especially if you too are white) but God made us all in His image, a beautiful mosaic of various shades and yet for some unknown reason, we (as whites) have a misconception that we are superior. Based on being white? or that others think we are (or perhaps, you might). I'm not judging. Yet this "white supremacy" deal has really weighed heavily upon my heart and now even more this "white male" superiority and also this "white Christian nationalism" has broken and devastated me because of what it's doing in the name of Christ (which it isn't at all following Jesus Christ or His teachings). Besides praying, I have also been reading at different times and familiarizing myself with a better understanding as I try to work through this. 

Maybe you have heard the term "white privileged" as I have throughout my life. I guess that I never really thought of myself this way but it probably was because I never took the time to consider or understand what that really means or how others might look at me thinking that. In the last decade, there is a person in my life that frequently makes a comment to me that I don't have to worry about this or that because "you're white", which has made me reflect and look at this from a different perspective. Then I read this article and began to "recognize ... that "white privilege begins with truly understanding the term." That well-written article was the beginning of having my eyes opened in a new way. Yet God has been speaking this in me and to me for quite some time, so that I might truly understand from His perspective and others. You know that expression "walk a mile in their shoes" ... used generally when you criticize someone else to think about before you do that you should "walk a mile in their shoes" so that if we did, we might better understand. This expression was used as a kind warning to us before we judge someone else (regardless), we would be better off to take the time to understand their experiences, challenges, thought processes, etc. and show more empathy. To me, this was also what Jesus would do, say and hope we would do with others before ... lashing out, judging, criticizing, etc. and temper what we say and do so with love, kindness and a clearer understanding, which is really what I hope to do when explaining this, but I have noticed the complete opposite in society; so much of our world has taken on to bullying, violence, counter-productive ways in our words and actions. It's very disheartening and certainly lacks the respect, compassion and empathy that Jesus Christ taught/teaches us.

I've read in the Scriptures about "to whom much is given, much will be required" (Luke 12:48) but never ever associated this to race but to richness (wealth) however I'm beginning to wonder if it might refer to more than distribution of what we have and sharing with others less fortunate. Please remember that there are also "whites" who are poor or less fortunate, as well as others from other races that are very blessed and fortunate. But this has caused me to pause and reflect on how much I have been given; even knowing that I am and came from middle class, and that my father worked very hard to provide that lifestyle for me, but so has my non-white spouse worked very hard & he continues to do so into his 90s. 

I do not desire to write about racism, nor prejudices and biases. I am far from being qualified to do this. Nor do I want to write about "white supremacy" or "white Christian Nationalism" because I am just beginning to learn, and again far from able to write on this, yet I know that the root of this in our nation is causing much division and issues, as well as developing to be a source of so many problems so I have many thoughts and opinions about all of this and from what I'm reading. I cannot even fully wrap my mind around all of what I clearly see better now than ever before in my life, even from where I have come and how I was raised. I'm not even quite sure why God has allowed me to be so burdened by this, but I know it is very important and I must speak out. 

Before I will write anymore, or you read any more of my blog post, I strongly suggest that you take the time to open your mind, eyes and heart - as you go and thoughtfully read "What is White Privilege, Really?" by Cory Collins, Issue 60, Fall of 2018 (that I linked above) for now. 

[I know I probably am asking much from you to go and read that article (written for educators and professional development) but I believe it's important and that each of us need to broaden our perspectives and continue learning throughout all of our lives to reach our full potential as human beings as we learn and seek "justice for all". I hope you take the time and evaluate (or re-evaluate) your life, purpose and direction. I know that I am. The future of this nation depends on each of us.]

... "God, help me not to be indifferent when I am confronted by pain, by poverty, by malice, by addiction, by marginalization, by struggle, by despair. Grant my heart all feeling, grant my mind all understanding, and grant my soul all compassion. Let my response be the response you intend. Amen." [words on the following*image] breyeschow

*[image credit: Bruce Reyes-Chow (day 33, p.66)]

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I'd like to say that I use to be "proud" of being from the 4 nationalities that are part of who I am. {I don't often use the word "proud" but I don't have another word to use. Although I have no real pride about my ethnicity, I do like that I have 1/4 of each of these "nationalities", which is the term we use to use to ask "what nationality are you?" for our ancestry or ethnic backgrounds. I knew that each of mine was from each of my maternal and paternal grandparents. So I am Swedish and Irish from my father's side; my paternal grandfather and grandmother. And I am French and English from my mother's parents, my maternal grandparents. I never really ever thought of any of those as superior "nationalities" nor the whiteness in my skin color (the amount of melanin) as superior. In the same way, I might also say that I was "proud" to be a "Christian" but the truth is I am thankful that I am a Christian. However in these recent years, I am much more hesitant to use the label of Christian. In fact, when I was in Mexico, I would clarify this by saying I follow the teaching and beliefs of Jesus Christ and reading the Bible. There is no pride in me of either my nationalities nor being Christian. I am just very grateful that I believe that Jesus saves me and I'm not so sure about the blend of my nationalities (lol) but I am what I am. I guess I am very thankful that I was born within the boundaries of this country in North America but these are far from being the United States of America that I once knew. And while I am at it, the 'Church' in this country - the Christian Church, is also further and further from uniting, or being united; and in fact, in my opinion, it is more divided in this recent decade than I have ever seen. Yet, there are still pockets of Christians that still follow Jesus Christ and His teachings. But we must never believe we are "superior" (nor boast) that we have the grace of God in our lives, because it is Jesus, who has saved us; not of ourselves or our own making - only by our choice and surrendering our will to His will daily that we have His aMazing grace, not based on race - for we are brothers and sisters "in Christ" (not a God-given right, race, religion, gender, etc). 

We must STOP believing that we are GOD and supreme in any way over any other human being and START being humane toward one another. We must refuse to think we have the right to take away any other's rights and the free will that God Almighty (Jehovah) has given to each person to choose. We can share our beliefs but not at the expense of taking away some else's choice. And we must put away these "childish ways" that have replaced God's LOVE with selfishness and self-determined thinking that we can rule over others and their beliefs at the cost of their lives and right to choose freely; and through hate, discord, disharmony, lies, etc. we see so much evil that is on the rise of people deciding their way is the right way or the only way. 

[There is much to still write on this topic, but I will end this here. But in case, you did not go read the article I linked or make it through that article, I probably will come back to this topic again and the main points in that article, especially the "boxed area" near the end ... perhaps if you didn't read it, you can scroll down at least to that gray "boxed area" to read:

"So, what can I do once I recognize my white privilege?"

[assuming that you (and I) are willing to admit that white privilege does exist & has for far too long]
I already have begun and believe that
SHOWING UP FOR RACIAL JUSTICE(SURJ)
might be one way of showing our commitment to benefit others
I'll begin to end by sharing this:

“Whiteness is not just an ideology; it is also an idol. For people of faith, this is not just a political issue but a religious one as well. Idols separate us from God, and the idolatry of “whiteness” has separated white people from God. It gives us an identity that is false, one filled with wrongful pride, one that perpetuates both injustice and oppression. Whiteness is an idol of lies, arrogance, and violence. This idol blinds us to our true identity as the children of God, because, of course, God’s children are of every color that God has made them to be. To believe otherwise is to separate ourselves from God and the majority of God’s children on this planet who are people of color.”Jim Wallis, pastor and author “Religion is often used as a sword to divide, rather than as a balm to heal.” ― Jim Wallis

Something to consider during this
PASSION
Week of our LORD Jesus Christ
who showed endless
COMPASSION
for us
&
picked up a
CROSS
to
show us
how much
HE
LOVES
YOU
&
me
ALL of US
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Finally:
This might be the beginning to a true, contrite REPENTANCE, RESTORATION & REVIVAL for each one of us this week. 

Perhaps we can learn, unlearn, re-learn or begin again to see one another as God sees us and loves us and has asked each one of us "to humble ourselves ..." (2 Chronicles 7:13-14). It's an IF and THEN condition by God. Sadly, we think that it means the other person or someone else needs to "humble themselves" but we need to look inwardly and see if WE truly have ... "with an attitude of repentance and insignificance" in the presence of the Lord (James 4:10, Amplified). 

I began praying with the verse from 2 Chronicles 7 last December (2023) "IF WE WILL ... THEN HE WILL ..." with a grassroots prayer project and this verse from the Old Testament of 2 Chronicles 7 took on a deeper meaning for me. So as we began 2024 in a 50 state-wide prayer over our nation for revival (each on our own, but together in one accord) "standing in the gap", I began to sense more and more, greater and greater, that not only does revival come by starting in each individual heart, but also through each state (in every community), I began to see how important it is for each person's heart to change and be willing to change. As I was taking in each part of that verse I found myself personally needing to change & humble myself first, before I could pray & expect a revival in & for our whole nation. It was THEN that my heart also began to weep (like Jesus for Jerusalem) so I carried the burden of our nation daily before God - broken and appalled at the way we (I) have taken our privileges for granted; whether it's "white privilege" or the privilege of being children of God, or living in a democracy and republic called the United States of America. 

Through nothing that I have done on my own merit but just because I was born here by God's Grace. I might have been born in Central America or South America or Ukraine or Russia or the Gaza strip, but I was blessed to be born in this country, which has been given many freedoms and liberties that we can no longer take for granted; and based on this upcoming election, we may loose these so called "inalienable rights" because we are on that precipice - on the very verge of falling into an abyss much greater than we can imagine. We have arrived at this place in time and are pitted on opposing sides, where we believe as we hear from our own side (from our own beliefs and perspective) but react based mostly from our own fears that have now been unleashed by the enemy and it's raising its ugly head by deceiving us into believing falsehoods that will rob, steal and destroy from within ... yes, WE, the PEOPLE have not humbled ourselves, etc. nor turned from our wicked ways. 

So this Holy Week, this Week of the Passion of Jesus Christ; we can submit ourselves to God, by starting with acknowledging that we need to REPENT (which means CHANGE) and HUMBLE ourselves; THEN ... or so that

HE WILL

HEAL OUR LAND

{oh, and I'm not saying that 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 was written or has anything specifically to deal with either our elections in 2024 (or previous ones) or that God's promising to heal our land here in America} 

but it does start in our own heart!

*[image credit: Bruce Reyes Chow; p.60]

*All images are from:

 "40 Days 40 Prayers 40 Words: 

Lenten Reflections for Everyday Life"

by Bruce Reyes-Chow

(last 2 of the Words from this past week)

Empathy-Humility

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