RELATIONSHIPS: 13-16

How to Pursue Relational Health

There's a beautiful prayer that begins this section seeking "to grow to rest in the truth that the Lord is our True Refuge. Asking our Lord to change us and help us walk forward, one step at a time - in obedience to Him as we work on developing deep, caring RELATIONSHIPS without being bound to our fear and insecurity based on how people need or want us. Not wanting to use people or be used but learning how to love them because the Lord loves us & we can be secure in Him.

DAYS 13 through 16

 

Day 13: Ask God to Reveal Your Heart's Pain & Sin - Ps. 139:23-24

Day 14: Admit Your True Fears - Ps. 142:1-4

Day 15: Connect with Spiritual Family - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

Day 16: Renew Your Thinking about Relationships and Love - Romans 12:2

I have divided days 13-21 for this section into 2 different blog posts: this one will cover just these days (13-16) and my next blog post will cover days 17-21 - all these days are about "How to Pursue *Relational Health". 

For me personally, I believe that this is the most important part and where I need the most work and/or change. So I am hoping that by lessening the amount of days, I will spend more time unpacking the verses and understanding what God reveals and honestly deal with myself and my RELATIONSHIPS. 

 

Day 16 "... How do we renew our minds?"..."First, we commit to reading and meditating on God's Word so that it has a home in us (Col. 3:16) ...  2nd "... We resist and flee influences that corrupt our thought life. We toss out anything that soils our minds with selfishness, lust, fear, anger, or unbelief; we cut off paths to ungodly supply sources that keep our sinful thoughts nourished. The more we're washed in the Word of God, the easier it becomes to recognize when pollution has entered in. ... " "Act: What steps do you need to take to have God's Word dwell in you more deeply?"

I find it's helpful to define terms (and this is not from the devotional book):

* “Relational health refers to the capacity to develop and sustain safe, stable and nurturing relationships, which in turn prevent the extreme. or prolonged activation of the body's stress response systems.” Garner. 2021. 

... and Why it's important?

"Relational health focuses on establishing and maintaining meaningful relationships with self, other individuals, groups and communities and develops from our interactions and connections with others. Having a network, grounded in supportive relationships, can help create feelings of satisfaction and security." (Resource)

A Special Day Plan of a Trip, Prayer & Thanks

TRIP PLAN: Jazz Fall Cruise on the St. Croix

As I begin this day of celebration of the 68th year of my life on a glorious autumn SONday (hoping for some warm sun here in Minnesota, which has steadily been dropping in temperatures this past week and the chill is on)… I believe that the author of this Birthday Prayer, when she shared this on her birthday, gave us permission to share with others too. I wanted to wait and add to some very special people's birthday cards first, as she suggested but since my birthday fell on a Sunday, I just couldn't wait and had to pray today to my Precious Lord -

PRAYER

October 9, 2022 "Lord, I love You, and I bless Your name. Thank You God that You love me with an everlasting love, and that You know the number of hairs on my head. You know everything about me, Lord. You know when I stand up and sit down. Thank You, Lord, for loving me and forgiving me. Thank You for the finished work of the cross. Thank You for the blood of Christ which was shed for me. Lord, I commit this year to You. I pray that You will order my steps, grant me divine opportunities, divine introductions, and divine relationships. Be in it all. Please go ahead of me and prepare the way, and that You will be my rear guard. Oh Father, You are so kind and so good, and I’m so grateful for that. Please give me grace to glorify You and enjoy You in whatever You ordain for me today and this coming year. Help me to grow in all the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, meekness, and self-control. Help me, Lord, to be obedient to You. Help me to know You more. Stir in my soul a desire to read Your Word, to know You and to pray. Create in me a deep hunger and an abiding desire to read Your Word so that I can know You, the Author of salvation. Help me not to grow weary in well doing. When I get a bad attitude help me to snap out of quickly. Help me not to dwell on negative or critical thoughts, Father, but remind myself that there is another way to look at things, and that my mind is renewed and transformed as I read Your Word. Thank You that I am not the same person I was…I am a new creature, a new creation, and I can think with a renewed mind, because I have the mind of Christ. Bless me today and this year, and make me a blessing to those around me. I pray Your covering and protection over me Lord God. May no weapon formed against me prosper or succeed. May every tongue that rises up against be shown to be in the wrong. Thank You Lord that I have peace, righteousness, security, and triumph over opposition as my heritage as a servant of the Lord. As Your Word says in Psalm 139, You chart the path ahead of me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Your strength supports me. Thank You God for blessing me. I am grateful for You. I pray this year You will enable me to rest in the finished work of the Cross and to rest in Your love and all that You have accomplished for me. Help me to be not just a hearer of Your Word but a doer of Your Word. So even as I rest, help me to do the works You have for me to do, but let it come from a place of abiding rest and a deep love and gratitude to You. Never acts of works, because I can never earn Your love; You love me with an everlasting love. I pray Your blessing on me this year. Thank You Father for Your faithfulness and Your kindness. You are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness. Lord You are so good. Thank You for all You’ve done for me, for all You are for me, and thank You for blessing me today on my birthday. In the strong name of Jesus, amen." (from Julie Gillies, author, "A Birthday Prayer")

THANKS

I also add a very special THANKS to God for a sweet sister (in Christ & of the heart)💚 who never forgets me; even sent this on my "birthday eve" -

 a tradition she started in her own family

 

 ...and also two more sisters: one - my biological sister; & the other - another sister in Christ here in MN. The ripple keeps growing of special birthday friends, sisters in Christ and loved ones, who add blessings to my life on this day. 

Yet the sweet sis 💚 I give thanks for - in the very beginning, never forgot me, even in Mexico, when I needed someone the most, she was there! She is one of the kindest and the Best sister ever! My words, thoughts and prayers are hardly enough to express my gratitude to God for this truly remarkable gift that keeps giving, just like Jesus! 

And thanks to Julie G. also for her gift of this prayer and many other prayers she shares in her books (and in other social media sites). I am blessed by her writing and prayers as an author and she doesn't even know me.

Since I have shared parts of the JESUS LISTENS prayers on this blog this year, I also want to share the Prayer given on this day from another book that I have been reading all this year, The Divine Romance (by Brian Simmons and Gretchen Rodriguez) on the Song of Songs, The Passion Translation(TPT). On this day in the 365 days of meditating, I am reading in the Song of Songs - chapter 6: verse 11 in TPT the last devotion of 3 on that verse, which is "Maturing Love" {I gladly receive this}. I am just sharing the Prayer that follows this beautiful devotion:

Extra PRAYER

"... Lord, fill me with Your desire. Stir my heart for those who have never stirred my heart before {or still have not come to accept You as their Savior & King}. Ignite me with zeal to see others grow in their {spiritual} identity. Release Your insights for those I encounter, so I can be a blessing to them and see them blossom in their *RELATIONSHIP with You.

I add this to the above Birthday Prayer to my Lord, Savior & King(the parts in {...} are my own addition, of course I add much more)* my 2022 One Word

May Your Love Mature more in me in the years that You, Lord still give me; and when those years end here on earth, may others acceptYour Ultimate Love and I pray receive Eternal Life.I give You all glory, thanks & praisethat I do receive You & Your Giftof Eternal Salvationin Jesus Christforevermine
💗💗💗

Forever Yours
💙 Peggy 💙

RELATIONSHIPS: 8-12

The Foundation of Toxic Relationships

" The soul ... craves fulfillment from things outside itself and will embrace earthly joys for satisfaction when it cannot reach spiritual ones. The believer is in spiritual danger...{beginning of quote that starts this section from John Flavel, "Method of Grace"}

[clearly there is much more to this quote both in the book and from John Flavel, a Puritan author, in his writing]
DAYS 8 - 12

Day 8: People Idolatry - James 1:17; Ex.20:3

Day 9: Suffering - Luke 13:10-11

Day 10: Disordered Desires - Deut. 13:6,8

Day 11: Misplaced Hope - Psalms 63:3,5;  Romans 15:13

Day 12: Unbelief - Hebrews 11:6; Prov. 3:5-6

At the end of each day, there is a portion added at the end specifically for the content of that devotional with ACT (something to do) and REFLECT (something to think about and hopefully be able to answer). 

 Day 12's REFLECT is a good one, since we are nearly half-way through this:

" ... what have you learned about wrong beliefs you've held regarding God and RELATIONSHIPS with people?"

I'll be pondering about this and possibly share some of that Reflection
however, since I'm still learning about Toxic Relationships, 
the links I gave prior to beginning this 31 day journey HERE in this blog post
might be more helpful; and of course this devotional book for

TAKING REFUGE IN CHRIST

RELATIONSHIPS: 2-7

I have already decided to group these daily readings into one blog post each week or so, to lessen your mailbox (if you subscribe) unless I have much to say (write) about any one day. There are actually 4 sections in the book - the last one is the largest of 10 days (so I will probably break that into 2 blogs). 

Here are the groups of days & when I plan to publish them: 

Days 2-7 is this one, which I moved up to tonight October 1st so it will be in time for Day 2 (and in plenty of time for the rest of this first section)

Days 8-12 publishes on October 7th, for the second section: The Foundation of Toxic Relationships 

Days 13-16 will publish on October 12th for the first part of the third section and

Days 17-21 on October 16th for the last days of this third part: How to Pursue Relational Health

Days 22-31 are the 4th part divided into two blog posts on October 21st for Days 22- 26th and October 26th for Days 27-31: Jesus is the Loving Refuge …

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The first section I started yesterday, October 1 with Day 1:

God is Our Most Trustworthy Refuge

Today's blog post covers
Days 2 -7

Day 2: Our Heart Healer - Psalm 34:18 & Psalm 147:3

Day 3: The One who Saves Us - Colossians 1:13-14

Day 4: Our Merciful and Comforting Father -2 Cor. 1:3-4

Day 5: Our Helpful Counselor - John 14:15-17

Day 6: Our Loving Lord and Creator - Colossians 1:16-17

Day 7: Our Eternal Source of Spousal Love - Hosea 2:19-20

I may be back to share after I read and do each day or if one strikes me

like this:

"...Toxic RELATIONSHIPS can wound and break our hearts."... "A healed heart grows by looking to God more - and to people less - for comfort and affirmation." ... (day 2)

Truthfully, I'm looking to God more for EVERYTHING and first!
I do realize that only sharing this much from this 31 day devotional book does not really give you much to go on or help you if you find yourself dealing with a RELATIONSHIP that is unhealthy or toxic but perhaps you are in a healthy one too yet I believe God’s Word & God can reveal more to you & I know that a good RELATIONSHIP with Jesus will. Always stay close to God and He will guide you or give you a way; or someone to show you as He does through His Word, daily interaction with Him, listening & obeying as You trust God.  But if I have anything else that these daily readings spark, I'll add more below as I read:

"... God's plan to pursue an eternal marriage relationship with His people. In Hosea, we hear God's desire to be more than just friends, more than a king with servants, even more than a Father with His children: He pursues us, loves us, and offers us eternal marriage, with Himself." ... Day 7 "... Married to God? Yes! His spousal love is different from human marriage but no less intimate. We have an eternally secure, forever-together relationship bought for us by the blood of Jesus, Our Bridegroom (see John 3:28-29)"

I am so grateful I became aware of this beautiful concept of being married to Christ as I grew more and more in this understanding and what it means in the Christian marriage, with the Lord as our Spouse; I grew closer to Him, He & I deepened our relationship, I acknowledged my own sin and truly renewed my life in Jesus with a fresh intimacy. It was at this time I found out more clearly than ever that my spouse not only didn't believe in church-going;(just another institution/organization to him) but he did not believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. So all his charitable and humane efforts in community action was humanitarian and not Christian as I had thought.  This also helped me realize that my vows of marriage were not just made in front of God but to God, a covenant between us - sadly broken in areas, but for me redeemed by Christ; it was that triangle of God (with Christ) at the center and top ^ and my spouse and myself on the base _ formed my marital image. I even purchased a gold triangle with the Cross in the center to serve as a reminder. He is Faithful & True! And I needed to learn to be. Just like the story of Hosea, but Jesus became my Hosea and redeems me. I worship Him only! No human should be idolized - that belongs to Christ alone. I've spent much of my life focus on treasuring our RELATIONSHIP!

DAY 7

Writing these keeps me accountable as I read each day. 

RELATIONSHIPS 1 of 31 October Days

TAKING REFUGE IN CHRIST

"My God is my Rock in whom I take Refuge, my Shield and the Horn of my Salvation." 

Psalm 18:2

After 10 months focusing on RELATIONSHIP, I should be able to put together my own 31 days, but most often I look to see if one is already available that fits my theme, which this year happens to be RELATIONSHIPS - the One Word that God put in my heart and mind for 2022. I do have an excellent book for all 365 days of devotions that I've mentioned often already. However, today - for this month of October, I found another book, already done and done well, so it will serve as my guide, although I can't share its contents (copyright), I will be sharing each day's contents through a scripture given. 

By now, if you know me or have read any of my blog posts, you are aware that I need work in my earthly RELATIONSHIPS, my main ones have not been healthy ... in fact, some are toxic. Many are and have been dysfunctional in my life.

[Not sure as I'm writing this blog post if I have written a previous blog post about unhealthy relationships or toxic ones, but I did intend to write one and share.]I did so it’s now linked.

That is how I came across the book which is the basis for these 31 days. I can never write as well as the author of this book, so I will just recommend on the last day this book. I purchased the Kindle version (of course) the moment I read the Introduction and page 16 prayer to:

God is Our Most Trustworthy Refuge

"Lord, I struggle to believe that You really can be a safe place for me in the midst of what I’m facing. I am tormented right now as I battle to believe I can truly be free of the mess in my relational world, and specifically my relationship with ________. I am hurting, angry, lonely, and anxious and ask You to open my heart to see wonderful things in Your Word. Help me to believe Your words, Lord, and please cause them to soak into my heart, mind, and life. I need You and want to grow in trusting You to lead me, day by day, step by step, to become healthy and holy in my relationships, even as I struggle to know what that looks like. Thank You that I can offer these cries for help through Jesus, the one I belong to and who calls me friend. Amen."

... and at the same time the scripture verse given for day 1 (below) was one that I just had in Jesus Listens on August 27 & in my You Version reading plan (verse image made) so I knew God was confirming this for October ... 

 Day 1 

"Our Refuge Now and Forever"

Psalms 18:1-2 I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,   my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. ESV

For now I will just post the daily scripture on my blog (maybe a verse image) and perhaps I may or may not share ... as I'm 

TAKING REFUGE IN CHRIST

{not in order, but these are a few of my highlights in day1}  ..."When we forget who we are and who God is, it's easy to rush after earthly RELATIONSHIPS that seem to promise escape from all pain and disappointments." ... "... the most foundational and beautiful truth of my identity - I'm loved and known by God." ... "... Through Christ, God delivers us from unhelpful (and unholy) patterns in our RELATIONSHIPS and strengthens us to trust Him."

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Each blog post is set to publish the day before the Days given from the book.
I may repost them if I add anything in the box at the end or my own Reflection.
I posted them ahead of reading so I am reading this daily and have not read ahead.

NOTE:

I forgot that I was doing this plan for the 31 days of October and then I signed up for Revive Our Hearts "Cry Out" Challenge, but since I have done "Cry Out" in previous years, I will be praying but not sharing the ROH Challenge because they will be sending me their daily emails and our nation and this world really needs us to be praying & seeking God & God's will, not our own. Too many of us have our own agenda. We need to LISTEN to God and FOLLOW Jesus only & His Word.