{there's more of an explanation and links on "B" blog post}
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I thought long and hard about "ABANDONMENT" for Jesus and for me (what it means or how it feels?) Because a long-time ago in my own life, it was stated that I had fear of "abandonment" (which to me, didn't make sense, back then) yet the first words that came to mind for me were words that start with "I" ...
INSECURITY
ISOLATION
Sad to say, I now know how both of these words occur in my life and I have to battle against feeling insecure and isolated but not like Jesus, from His Father ... I can't even imagine that empty feeling of separation. Back then, I could not think at all how I might have issues with abandonment ... I have a better picture of that now. Back then, I clearly knew that I had not experienced childhood losses or trauma that I associate with "abandonment". Thankfully, I have a strong belief that my Heavenly Father has not and will not abandon me, and this is what I cling to as I face any earthly moments that bring up fears related to this. Fortunately, I had not experienced divorce or a death of a parent as a child, as I have since then however. I still had fears, issues and perhaps even identity crisis based on my insecurities and in these aging years with hearing loss now, a real sense of isolation like never before. As you can tell, this MILE strikes too close to home ... the blessing for me, is I have never felt abandoned by God, even when I might have deserved it. He has been ever so faithful to me every MILE of my journey.
| "Lord, I confess there are times in my life when I feel like everyone, even You, has abandoned me. Give me the faith to see that You have never left me. Help me to see that You were abandoned so I would never have to be. Let me focus on Your presence today. In Jesus' name, Amen." |
♫“This is my prayer in the desert
ReplyDeleteWhen all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer and my hunger in me
My God is the God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in my battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship”♫