GRIEVING GOD'S WAY ~ The Path to Lasting Hope

GRIEVING GOD'S WAY THE PATH TO LASTING HOPE by Margaret Brownley and Haiku by Diantha Ain

"Grieving God's Way" by Margaret Brownley with Haiku by Diantha Ain helps lead the reader to a path of hope and healing through a 90 day devotional that starts you on the process of grieving in a healthy way; God's ways. The book is divided into four parts of healing: I. the grieving body, II. the grieving soul, III. the grieving heart and IV. the grieving spirit along with a Bible verse and devotion for each day and an inspirational haiku by Diantha Ain. My favorite part however was what she shared from her heart and in the section "Healing Way" at the end of each day.

Through the author's own personal experience with grief after the loss of her oldest son, she showed me how to grieve God's way instead of how I have been dealing with my losses, mixing some of man's ways with God's ways and not being able to let go. Weeks, months and even years go by without visible signs of improvement or change on their special days, wondering about that person. "Then one day, it happens ... we are no longer consumed by our loss and our thoughts turn outward. These are the first signs of healing." "Grieving God's Way" offers and inspires a different course of action than our society tells us that says "get over it", stuff it, forget it, suppress it, "shouldn't you be over this?", move on ...

I. Man's Way: Numb the pain  God's Way: Heal the pain through healthy choices II. Man's Way: Don't dwell on your loss. Keep busy God's Way: Slow down. Take your time. Share your pain. Heal through Beauty, Art and Nature III. Man's Way: Grieve alone * God's Way: Grieve with the help of family &friends IV. Man's Way: Time heals God's Way: Faith heals ~Margaret Brownley~

Time definitely has not healed the loss of each person no longer here in my life. Each death is different and each of us deal differently with the death of a loved one. The pain is very real. But "out of the pain comes a gift of a deeper faith" (Day 87). I have experienced death from illnesses, sudden death and the traumatic death of a suicide. Not one is the same. I felt that Margaret walked honestly through her grief and how she shared it like she "gets it". I had done many of the same things that Margaret shares throughout her book but especially Part II. I love the opening introduction of each section but Part IV's spoke the most to me from this beginning part:

"When grieving God's Way, peace of mind is the reward we receive for faith ..."

through her message to the very last words on that page

"Grief is a very dark cave with no visible way out. Hope and joy are distant memories. Faith deserts us ... We cry out to God ... We question His wisdom and purpose. This is how the spirit grieves." "Fortunately, God doesn't hold a loss of faith against us; ... This is the wonder of God's aMazing Grace." "The spirit heals when life becomes meaningful again and we face the future with hope, courage, and a more lasting and mature faith."

my spirit received the healing that flowed from these words  ... 

Thank you, Margaret!

I am now moving forward after reading this like a devotional for the past 90 days (finishing up on the exact day 3 years after my most recent devastating personal loss from suicide of a special significant friend of mine for the past 13 years here in Mexico ) with a new hope and hopefully a more healthy way to cope that will be lasting. In some ways, reading this at this point only surfaced the pain once again but this time I was able to take hold of God's truths and ways to cope and deal better. I'm learning how to embrace my grief with hope and promise, realizing that I don't have to 'let go' of the people but can express my grief in a healthier way by continuing to love them. Now I'm pressing on to learn and apply this in an entirely different kind of grief: the entire loss of our home and belongings to a fire.

The final author note of Margaret Brownley seemed to help me the most summing up her journey so beautifully and truthfully with these words: 

"Grief knows no end, but neither does God's healing." ~ Margaret Brownley ~

Grief is an inner journey and Margaret Brownley captures it and the healing necessary to start over, hold on to our memories and look forward with hope that is lasting through her words and God's Word, we can heal God's way finally through "Grieving God's Way". 
I have read only one other book that has helped me at all, although I'm noticing more and more available. I do recommend this book for those grieving and even for helping others you know or yourself to understand more completely grief, loss and a path to healing. I know I will go back often when I'm in that valley so I can lift up my eyes to the hills from where my help comes(Psalm 121)...

Disclosure of material connection: I received this book free from the publisher Thomas P. Nelson through the BookSneeze.com book review blogger's program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

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* although I found, that there are now many sites and support groups to help us deal with our loss and our grief, I prefer to be surrounded by Christians with like beliefs.   My problem was that I am out of the country and do not feel comfortable enough to share in Spanish as I would back home. However, I was not able to talk with family and friends back home about these things, there are places you can. And for me to share with or even see the family here bought back painful memories and increased my heaviness. 

MAZE, MESS & MIRACLE MONDAY

IN THE OLAS ALTAS which means "HIGH WAVES" here in Mexico~


Footprints In The Sand sung by Leona Lewis

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way

And just when I
I thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
That's when I heard you say


I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair

And I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
When I'm weary
Well I know you'll be there
Cause I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair
Oh, I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
(choir)
When your heart is full of sadness and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend

I promise you
I'm always there
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints
In the sand

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is what the Lord has been speaking to me.

I have always loved this poem:

"FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND"
Without going into specifics so as not to lay blame or shame,

back when I came to Mazatlan in 1996,

-which was my second trip-

this POEM became a reality and a cry to the Lord

in a deep and depressed prayer to God from me.

My heart was indeed overwhelmed

and though I wasn't lost- I knew the Lord,

I could not overcome the "rut" I felt my life was in

...and had little hope for living any longer.

It was during Easter week, the week preceding Easter known in Mexico as

"Semana Santa" Holy Week.

I had been to Mazatlan in 1995 as a tourist with my adopted son, and his friend. And felt I had heard the Lord speak to me and call me there. But in 1996 when I returned, I was very burned out, exhausted and hopeless after a very serious medical crisis with our adopted daughter, which I dealt with alone, like a single parent for 6 months of life-making decisions, except for the fact that my church family gathered around me

and that they did much beyond the call of duty.

So when I came to Mazatlan, I was really searching "alone" about what was my purpose for living.

It looked to me like I had failed at everything:my marriage, my job(s), "motherhood"...

I so longed to be with the Lord yet I knew that would not happen if I took it into my own hands again...

I walked along the beach, along the Mazatlan coast many times, but on Good Friday, when I walked, I cried out to God:

"Give me a reason to go on living..."

And I watched as I walked how the waves rescinded and there were no footprints in the sand.

And so I cried out again...

"Look, Lord...not even now, when I'm at my lowest do I see you walking with me. I don't even see my own steps-they are just as washed out as I am, the waves come crashing in against the rocks, rippling along the sand, not leaving a trace of my steps, not even like my favorite poem, so even You have given up on me...

I could walk out into those waves and never be missed, the current will pull me under and someday I'll wash up on the shore somewhere."

Please, Lord, just show me You care! Give me Your Purpose, for me to go on living".  I was very much without HOPE and saw very little purpose left in my life. I saw no resolution for my problem(s), in fact, I was told that I was the problem.

YET

Our Lord was ALWAYS THERE

HE IS ALWAYS THERE!

He doesn't give up on us

He's just waiting for you

to notice how much He cares.

I don't know WHY I decided to share this

except

to let you know

THERE IS HOPE

in Christ JESUS!

HIS PROMISES & HIS WORD

ARE TRUE!

I walked through many MAZES like this one above throughout my life,

I caused many MESSES and many MESSES caused me undue stress,

heartache and desperation,

but I am alive and living for Jesus,

a PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE,

a MIRACLE of

HIS aMAZING GRACE!

FOR
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11